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| Blogs > bebong2005 > MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO |
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honestly I will never marry someone I am in love with (not that the opportunity presented itself already) I find it a very dangerous thing to do. One might say living with somebody one is not in love with = unhappy. A very big BS! Who says being in love (or loving somebody) is a synonym for happiness? For what I saw/read/heard (listen to most songs) it is mostly the opposite.( Un)luckily, I never had the chance yet to encounter the dilemma of choosing for as I said before, I am yet to fall. (Except for that almost one time and he turned out to be my nephew by first cousin, how happy could that be) *I had to interrupt a business of cutting my split ends ‒mostly paint- which is a very important task because split ends you could only clearly see in certain lights. The best location I found out is in the car with panoramic glass roof like Peugeot 307 break while someone is driving it- to write this blog which suddenly popped in my head while in my dressing room sitting by the window overlooking the street* So, if I’m going to pick between comfortable unhappy and uncomfortable unhappy… well, the decision is quickly made. (How could someone be happy being uncomfortable?) and how anybody could love somebody who is making them that? i wonder... But yeah, To each his own it's plain to see To walk alone you have to be It's all for you and all for me, you'll see Or its lovely promise won't come true To each his own, What good is a song if the words just don't belong? If a flame is to grow there must be a glow To open each door there's a key To each his own, I've found my own Nothing can be permanent Nothing set in stone Never try to fool yourself That you are not alone Know your place don’t chance your arm Your secrets are all known Never cross the great divide Each to his own Dont misunderstand me, don’t be hurt, don’t take offence But what I am about to tell you makes a lot of sense But being happy only takes a restless heart so far Be thankful for the past but know those times wont come again In every rule there is an exception. One got to believe what one wants to believe. A man’s got to do what a man’s got do. Thank you.  ~ Jolielaide  |
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4/3/2009 3:49 pm |
I observed that most people marry they love even if later on they'll be unhappy...They follow their hearts...and I repeat, THEY... ...Hello Bebz!  Just call me ELZ 
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i'm genuinely happy for those who finds their "happily-ever-after" ~ Jolielaide
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first sentence = afraid of commitments. there is a saying in my country that goes like this: using umbrella even there is no sight of rain ~ Jolielaide
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abouth the chores... well give me another five years ~ Jolielaide
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stimulate your mind? i'm trying to stimulate something else kidding but of course it's all in the mind. if it works, everything does the only good news i received is someone died. a neigbour phoned me that a friend of the family had passed away and she knowing my passion for antiques asked me if i want to have a first pick of the furnitures and bits and pieces before they give it away ~ Jolielaide
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i supposed to be checking it out today but i woke up late and the person is only available till midday i'll try again this evening ~ Jolielaide
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4/4/2009 4:13 am |
Good afternoon Ate B. Grew tired of loving someone who didn't care as much. I would've nearly settled to have it easier to live more financially comfortable due to his family. Mind you it wasn't his money, he didn't really have any but his parents are well-paid professionals and so are his brothers, they earn obscene amount of money. His parents has always been very good to me and still is that's why I care a lot more for them more than him. His dad was prepared to help us financially in every way from getting a house together etc whilst his mom was emotionally supportive and offered help in other ways. Like our moms were chummy with each other which made me wonder what they could be talking about. Little did I know a few years ago that I was in a situation where our mothers thought it was a good idea to get married early and he also had dreams of getting married too. To be married in our mother's eyes would've be seen as a religious blessing that would enrich our relationship. It would've lessen my worries for the future and my mom would be happy to receive more money too. On the other hand, I felt it was too early and it would've been a mistake to go ahead with it when I'm not ready and I'm still not to this day. But my ex was increasingly making me miserable. You know as our relationship progressed longer than expected, he became more complacent. If he had asked before we broke up or the time after we broke up and tried to win me back, I would've still said no to any proposal. The opening years of my adulthood was a little turbulent. I'm much happier now. Very glad to get a break from a serious relationship when we were too young. Best of all, found true love who shares equally my passions and I'm in no rush to do anything and most of all, rush in to get married.    within each one of us, and let it begin with me (and each one of us)..one breath at a time.
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jane, when i was 15 yrs old, my eldest sister wanted to marry me off to a colleague of my brother in law; a naval officer who has everything but is also twice my age. there were few phil. constabulary officials also as well as engineers. but i was young and like most still dreaming/hoping for the right person to fall in love with. deep down inside i'm hopelessly romantic. ~ Jolielaide
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after my divorce there were doctors and one UN ambassador among with lots of guys from different steps of society's ladder. i remember kurt, a 27 yrs old porche driving only son of the owner of one of the biggest factories here in belgium. he scares me to death. too good to be true and too sleek for my taste. ~ Jolielaide
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if i happened to fall in love, probably i did follow my heart also. but sad to say, that man is yet to be born. so what to do? settle for the next best thing, companionship. because no man is an island. everybody needs somebody to---(fill in the blank. different people different needs) for me is i chose someone i could live with. if i am venting sometimes about my frustrations and desires, i'm just human (aren't we all) like most of us here. i'm naturally unhappy. it has nothing to do with anyone or anything. it's my nature, being melancholic and tortured. ~ Jolielaide
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not to forget my preference for unused tools ~ Jolielaide
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the truth is i'm not an easy person to live with. too much strange habits. but i'm loyal and when in relationships i do everything in my power to make it works. that way, when it's over, i can move on without looking back and sans guilty feeling. that's why when i chose the embryo, it comes down to a lot of weighing and measuring. he's not perfect but he loves and accepts who i am. and that's good enough for me. ~ Jolielaide
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i realized at my age that i ("probably") will never fall in love ever. and if, like i said i will never marry him. i want to be in control. don't want feelings to clowd my reasons. if we love somebody, (i think) we tend to be blind mostly. being in love is being vulnerable, being open for someone to hurt us. i don't want to give that power to anyone. i want that if someone decided to leave, that i will still be whole. ~ Jolielaide
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haba na ng comment 'ala pang sagot 'yong kay jane  ~ Jolielaide
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4/4/2009 11:19 pm |
 ♫♫...someday ...u and me... ♫♫will find ourselves...in love again ♫♫"i still say...taking chances will do wonder who knows? what life Brings?  then of course...be ready for the ride...always coz honestly...like i've already told...  our happiness depends on the quality of our thoughts  what we think ...is what will we become  cheers!!!   
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4/4/2009 11:31 pm |
after my divorce there were doctors and one UN ambassador among with lots of guys from different steps of society's ladder. i remember kurt, a 27 yrs old porche driving only son of the owner of one of the biggest factories here in belgium. he scares me to death. too good to be true and too sleek for my taste.  yes! even some are too good to be true some even believe... money is the true measure of happiness  some are even hopeless romantic  and what else??? i would say... follow ur heart  where it leads u...  then next time... it get's screwed.. face the problem  what am i saying anyways? 
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♫♫...someday ...u and me... ♫♫will find ourselves...in love again ♫♫"i still say...taking chances will do wonder who knows? what life Brings? then of course...be ready for the ride...always coz honestly...like i've already told... our happiness depends on the quality of our thoughts what we think ...is what will we become cheers!!! that's maybe the key my thoughts are always murky occasionally it becomes crystal clear that's when it is beginning to scare me ~ Jolielaide
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too many men...too little time yes! even some are too good to be true some even believe... money is the true measure of happiness some are even hopeless romantic and what else??? i would say... follow ur heart where it leads u... then next time... it get's screwed.. face the problem what am i saying anyways? that's why when men whose out of my league begin to dig in my backyard... i get suspicious i kinda think, whose grave they start preparing? so, i always make it sure it is not mine ~ Jolielaide
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your first comment reminds me of a lot of things ~ Jolielaide
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4/5/2009 8:31 am |
our happiness depends on the quality of our thoughts ha? that's maybe the key my thoughts are always murky occasionally it becomes crystal clear that's when it is beginning to scare me  it's happening di ba!!!
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4/5/2009 8:34 am |
i know who and what i am that's why when men whose out of my league begin to dig in my backyard... i get suspicious i kinda think, whose grave they start preparing? so, i always make it sure it is not mine  google the song..."i am what i am" by gloria gaynor tell me if it's u
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see??? it's happening di ba!!! ~ Jolielaide
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google the song..."i am what i am" by gloria gaynor tell me if it's u now we've got a theme song ~ Jolielaide
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just don't crucify me if i forgot our anniversary ~ Jolielaide
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4/5/2009 1:37 pm |
Ate B, are you looking forward to have a baby again? I ask because it seems it's another reason why mom and my ex's mom wanted us to get married. They already want a grandchild. My mom in particular wants a mestiso/a as a grandchild. She's broody, but it isn't safe to bear a child at her age. I mean I really don't care how a baby looks as long as I can bear to have one. Whilst my mom's ex used to buy baby and children's toys quite often for nobody in particular, but she would use to make me touch the newly bought toys to try and test it and see how it feels and say how whether it's adorable and cute. Then later said she's keeping in the box just in case. It used to scare me because I used to think what is she hinting at.within each one of us, and let it begin with me (and each one of us)..one breath at a time.
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