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you will know me better by reading my blog....this blog is my outlet....whatever i feel...whatever it is that's on my mind...i put and write it down can tell who i am by reading my blog because this is the real me

just enjoy reading my's a true feelings and story...

Just dropping by....
Posted:Apr 16, 2015 5:58 am
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2018 3:23 pm

Hello again....It's me's been quite a long time that i haven't visited this site...

Now, I think of logging in again....I love to write....and this site will allow me to do so...

hope to see you again!!
I'm back!!!!!
Posted:Jul 7, 2010 4:42 am
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2010 9:51 am

It's been quite a long time that I never had the chance to visit my favorite site...which is...THIS SITE!!!!!

I am back now.....Thank GOD!!!!

I only have one problem now, I can't log on to all my former groups!!!! I really wanted to visit them!!!! HELP!!!!!
Just posting...
Posted:Sep 23, 2008 7:02 pm
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2018 3:23 pm

Hello everyone..I am here inside an internet cafe...just checking out FFF and emails's so expensive here...imagine $3.00/hour and i have to walk for 45 minutes just to come down here...then i have to go back and walk for another 45 minutes...whew! sooooo tiring and I am sweating already....super INIT!!!!

i miss you all!!!!!!
Tomorrow andThank YOU......
Posted:Sep 19, 2008 5:15 am
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2008 6:58 pm
Tomorrow, Sunday, September 20 would be my last day really makes me sad but there's nothing I can do about a way I am thankful to my friend who left for Canada last September 2nd for allowing me stay in her rented house here in Tinian, Commonwealth of Northern Mariana which will end till end of this month....the reaon why I can go online 24/7...But the phone lines and utilities will be until Sept 21st, i have to vacate the house on the 21st...

I woud like to give thanks to everyone who supported me here in my blog and all my groups around here in FFF. For the last 2 or 3 months that I've been active, again, that brings me , AGAIN, to the top as the most active member among groups....

Hoping I could interact more, exchange ideas and opinion but time takes what is due...I have to leave FFF for the meantime but really don't know when i'll able to be back again in circulation...

Here, I found TRUE AND REAL FRIENDS...even though this is what we called cyberspace...some of them I met personally , some of them no, but they all touch my heart one way or the other...

THanks to you.....I will be making my last blog maybe tomorrow.....

This is not really GOODBYE...but hope to see you again next time....!!!!

3rd Anniversary.
Posted:Sep 16, 2008 6:52 am
Last Updated:Sep 18, 2008 10:06 pm
I feel something strange today....i am having a goosebump and I don't know the reason why...It's been 2 nights that I am sleeping with my lights on...let me tell you why....

Just the other night, I was about to fall asleep, around 2 or 3 in the morning..I turned off the lights in my room...actually I was half asleep then..when i feel something or see something...there was this shadow of a big man and he was about to embrace, i get up and opened up the lights..i am quite scared especially that I am all alone in this big house...and the quiet...!!! It's around 4 am when i got the chance to sleep.

Then last night...I think I don't want to sleep again with my lights, i decided to keep it on....nothing unusual happen anyway...

But today..I was chatting with a friend and we are talking about his mom who got cancer and he wants to go home to see her. I am consoling him and telling him stories about my father...I become teary eyed because those memories comes flashing back into my mind...The last time that I had a chance to talked to him before he goes into sleep without waking up...

I can feel some tingling sensation...i don't know why..well, I thought may father's death anniversary is on the 17th, but when I saw my brother online, i asked him when is the death anniversary...and he told me..IT'S TODAY...waaaahhh...I didn't know!!!

He asked me if i did sense or feel something because my father visited him already..he smell the scent of a candle inside his room in Qatar...nah!!! that was it...he is around with me today!!!

Tonight, before I went out of my room to get my juice...I am already talking to him...I told him..."don't let me see you...I am bit know that I am all aone here"...when I get back to my room that's the time that i also smell the scent of a burning candle....and started talking to him again...IN A LOUD VOICE!!!

Now, I miss him ..Yes! so, I am asking for prayers...please offer a silent prayer for our beloved father...his name is ROMEO....

Posted:Sep 15, 2008 8:21 am
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2008 2:17 am
I am reposting my blog here...I wrote this one last May 25, 2007...during the times that i was really down...Luckily, through a group on the other site..i got the chance to know about the email ad of a priest, i send him this one and he replied back answering all the queries here...

My Bog and his answer....

I was in front of my laptop when i overheard people talking outside my room...then i become so confused about their topic...can you please give me your own explanation about this topic and matter:

1. Is it TRUE that God love the SINNER more than the GOOD ONES?????, the reason why when you're good, God will surely take you away from this world to be with HIM, so, you won't commit more sins????

HIS ANSWER: 1. it is not true that God loves the sinner MORE than the holy ones. the truth is God loves them BOTH. hence the reason you mentioned doesnt apply and there's no need fo me to explain it.

2. That God listen to the sinners and give them whatever they wish for rather than the good ones, because the good ones will understand Him for not giving in to their heart's desire and wishes????

HIS ANSWER:2. again the answer is NO! God listens to every prayer that comes from an honest and sincere heart, whether of a sinner or saint. God grants favors that are ONLY for the good of the petitioner. no matter how much we think we need a particular thing, God's wisdom is way beyond our understanding and so sometimes and even oftentimes, God doesnt give in to our desires for the simple reason that they are not good for us.

3. Do i need to be a sinner, so that God will listen to me, see me, hear me and give in to all my heart's desire????

HIS ANSWER:3. this is a foolish question which you yourself should know the answer. pardon my word. if that is God's logic then i don't believe in that god. he is not God in the first place. god loves the sinner but he surely hates SIN!

4. That KARMA really doesn't exist, if so, how come people around the world keeps on commiting sins but still living a contented and happy life????

HIS ANSWER:4. karma from theChristian point of view means that every action we make, there are automatic consequences. good consequences for good actions and bad consequences for bad actions. no need for further explanation. sinners living a happy and contented life? what is REAL LIFE by the way? it is in fact, life in CHRIST! sinners dont have that life! but they are welcome to it if they repent. LIFE is perfected in heaven. life on earth no matter how good and perfect it may seem is nothin compared to the life that is to come - our eternatl life in the presence of our CREATOR in heaven


HIS ANSWER:finally, pray for those from whom you heard these opinions. they are confused, misguided and totally WRONG! and mind you, you should know better my dear..

The priest is a dear friend of mine...I fondly caled him KUTZIE (which mean KUYA TOOTCHIE now I called him Father Kutzie)..we grew up together..we belong in one congregation..ROMAN CATHOLIC...we belong to one group during our time which we called BOND OF LOVE SOCIETY...a socio religious group for youth then...way back....and I am happy for the last years that I haven't seen nor talked to him...but because of cyberspace/internet we do now open up our communication again!!!
Just wanna share this.......
Posted:Sep 11, 2008 7:24 am
Last Updated:Sep 18, 2008 7:39 pm
I can't help it i need to write it down...i don't know but today I keep on staring on my computer...browsing here and there...going in and out of blog section...same with my a little...keep on checking emails...chatting with friends...old and new...but my mind is out of nowhere....i don't know what occupies it...until tonight...

Tears flowed down from my eyes, Just tonight!!!!

I had a chance to chat with my first it was Mea, my 16 year old daughter...we joke, we exchange pictures...we tell stories..we talked about her dad...and telling me how terribly she misses me and love me.

Then later was my eldest, my only son, 20 year old son...same thing with Mea....but because he was more mature..i can't help but cry whenever he said.."Ma, you take care there, you are all alone there..." "I love you and I miss you"

Those sweet words coming from my kids...

For those who don't kids are not together but they see each other everyday in school and my son always comes over to my mother's house...where Mea stay.

I even told both of them to take care of my old mother..talked to her, make her happy.

This kind of feeling I can't explain...a mother's love to her children...and a child love to her mother...a bondage that nobody else can ever replace or destroy. Missing each other, longing to be with each other...

I know everyone misses me..and wanted to see me back home safely...but I promise myself...I will just finished all my obligation and responsibillty here and then maybe...IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO BACK HOME.....

I am not PERFECT...
Posted:Sep 10, 2008 6:54 pm
Last Updated:Oct 13, 2008 9:34 pm
Are you looking for a perfect person??? I am just a human being who wanted to be happy...I am not perfect at all..I have my flaws...

People change, even though you/they don't want to..they do, we do!!!When we got older and become mature, we do have different wants and need....we do change our ideas and beliefs.

Now, looking for happiness, someone who could fill the emptiness in fill something that seems lacking?? Everybody needs someone to grow old with....share laugther and tears...

I am not perfect!!!but I promise you this...whoever you are...I will stick with you...will take you as you are...will love you for the rest of my life.....

The question now is WHERE IS THAT SOMEONE?????

nah!!! this is just one my wishes...

JUST nothing....09.10.08
Posted:Sep 9, 2008 7:54 pm
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2008 5:59 pm
Blue is my color today!well, like my sister Elsa told me..maybe just making a trip back to MEMORY LANE....

There's a significance about this this month and day....and i just can't help THINKING!!!!!!

nothing here actually...AGAIN...whinning and thinking...wishing myself....HAPPINESS and out of EMPTINESS...wish me luck then!

What a FEELING!!!!!
Posted:Sep 9, 2008 3:17 am
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2008 1:03 am
There are times that you do feel a little upset...a little down...and me, as of now...feels it...I don't know where's this feeling coming from...i am just a little sad..or maybe because i have no one around..YES! I am all alone now...maybe not really used to without someone with me...well, talking about friends...I do have here in this site but one who is personally with me...someone you can talk to...someone you can tell stories...someone you can laugh with....

Something happened last night...and that's what makes me think and feel this way...maybe!!! or maybe because this is the month i don't want to come...i really don't know....

while writing this blog...i can't help it...tears just flowed down from my little chinky i hurt??? do i feel empty??? I really don't know...something stabbing myn heart and i can't explain why....

Maybe...this is just a feeling...i know these will pass will just take a little time...


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