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| Blogs > Ebony_Aisha2 > Me, UNPLUGGED. |
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Don't Fix it, if it isn't BROKEN. Two Kinds of Men: One Kind of Behavior. There are two kinds of men. One will become incredibly defensive and stubborn when a woman tries to change him, while the other will agree to change but later will forget and revert back to the old behavior. A MAN EITHER ACTIVELY RESISTS OR PASSIVELY RESISTS. When a woman attempts to change a man, he receives the message that she thinks he is broken. This hurts a man and makes him very defensive. He doesn't feel loved and accepted. When a man does not feel loved just the way he is, he will either consciously or unconsciously repeat the behavior that is not being accepted. He feels an inner compulsion to repeat the behavior until he feels loved and accepted. For a man to improve himself, he needs to feel loved in an accepting way. Otherwise he defends himself and stays the same. He needs to feel accepted just the way he is, and then he, on his own, WILL LOOK FOR WAYS TO IMPROVE. So LADIES... DON'T FIX IT BECAUSE IT ISN'T BROKEN.  xoxo |
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i have only one message for a prospective suitor.. i am not your mother so don't act like you need one. if you have a problem with being an adult male and cannot accept that women have their quirks just like you do, then stay home with momma. 
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if you don't like me on our first meeting, move along girl because I'm not going to change..  I may not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good as I ever was once.
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hello Aisha, and welcome to blogland!  the second thing, it is interesting what came to ur mind to blog about, but tell me, why would a woman want to change a man, in the first place? and if ur answer is going to be: to improve his situation and make him look better, why did she choose to be with him right from the beginning if she thinks he should change himself?  now most of ladies here say, they are looking for someone who would accept them the way they are! and they say for the guys who might be courting them: just be yourself!! that makes me wonder what is the change for? and if that is the case, would u agree for a man to change u according to the formula he prefers? just wondering my friend! 
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11/10/2010 9:27 pm |
Women have an idealistic view of the relationship and that is why they want the man to change. People in relationships often have strong "expectations" that their partner will be exactly what they want. You will see that if you meet a girl and you will have a long relationship with her, after a while she will try to change you. When you met her, she was perfect in every sense of the word. However, after a while, she will try to make you to be like the person from her fantasy. People which try to change other people in a relationship initially try to make the person out to be something they were not and try to mold them in the perfect mate. Nevertheless, a perfect mate does not exist. Trying to change a person is a sign of strong possession, to have someone so strongly that you can actually change his or her behavior. On the other hand, there is a HUGE difference between 'CHANGE' and 'Broadening your Horizons'. If your girl is suggesting you that she likes you in polo shirts or that it'd be better if you flossed your teeth. Is that really changing you? Or is she just trying to 'upgrade you'? Is that really worth getting upset about? Come to think of it...Growth is sexy. xoxo
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