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YOU MUST KNOW ME FIRST

you will know me better by reading my blog....this blog is my outlet....whatever i feel...whatever it is that's on my mind...i put and write it down here...you can tell who i am by reading my blog because this is the real me



just enjoy reading my blog....it's a true feelings and story...

JUST WONDERING......
Posted:May 31, 2007 6:05 am
Last Updated:Jul 29, 2007 5:50 pm
2924 Views
Whenever I checked my blog around here and look at my visitor's list...It seems lots of new handle was visiting my blogs but don't want to post any comment around...are you just sneaking around or just want to read my blog...????? hayyyy.....

Anyway, thanks for visiting and reading my blog...wish you could leave a message/comment sometimes.....

19 Comments
a LETTER...wala lang!!!!!
Posted:May 30, 2007 8:19 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2008 5:25 pm
3168 Views
[1]Dear....

Bakit ba kailangan kong magdusa sa mga bagay na wala na akong magagawa pa, na kahit pa ginawa ko na ang lahat… na kahit pa ipinaglaban ko ang pagmamahal ko, na kahit na halos isiksik ko ang sarili ko sa iyo…di ko naiisip na mangyayari sa akin.ang bagay na ito…napakarami kong katanungan na walang kasagutan….ikaw pa rin ang iniisip ko, ikaw pa rin ang nasa puso ko, sabihin na natin naiinggit ako sa kanya ngayon dahil siya ang kasama mo at nilalambing,…..habang ako ay narito at nag iisa…..nangangarap at nananabik na maramdaman man lang kahit ang mga mahigpit mong yakap…..ano ba ang meron ka na hindi kita kayang makalimutan at itapon,,,,,dahil lang siguro na mahal na mahal kita…… lintik na pagmamahal talaga ito…wala ng idinulot kundi puro sakit…2 taon na akong nasasaktan at umaasa…saan? Sa wala….masakit isipin, masakit tanggapin na wala ka na sa akin, sa amin at may ibang buhay ka na at din a pwedeng ibalik pa anuman ang pinapangarap kong buhay noong kasama pa kita.

16 na taon ang lumipas na sa iyo umikot ang mundo ko, ibinuhos ko ang lahat….ginawa ang lahat….mga bagay na hindi ko nagawa ngunit dahil sa pagmamahal ay ginawa ko…..magluto, maglaba, maghain, magplantasa…ano pa ba???? alam ko na meron akong pagkakamali pero sapat ba yon upang iwanan mo ako at ipagpalit,????? ikaw, hindi mo ba naisip na maging ikaw ay meron ding mga pagkukulang at pagkakamali, ngunit lahat yun ay aking kinalimutan at pinalampas dahil salitang PAGMAMAHAL….akala ko ay tayong dalawa na talaga hanggang sa huling paghinga…..ngunit biglang nagbago ang ihip ng hangin at ikaw ay nadala nito…nag-iba ka ng landas…..nakalimot….nang-iwan…nakasakit….sakit na di mawala-wala sa aking isipan at puso hanggat alam ko sa sarili ko na mahal pa rin kita at gusto ka pa ring makasama…..hanggang kelan ako magkakaganito????? Hanggang kelan tutulo ang mga luha sa mga mata ko????? Hanggang kelan ako aasa na muli ka sanang makasama at mabubuo ang ating pamilya????? Dapat pa ba o hindi na?????

Sa mga oras na ito, ikaw at siya ay masayang magkatabi sa iisang higaan, habang ako ay naririto at kayakap ang aking unan at inisip na sana ay ikaw na yon…..iniisip kung magka holding hands din ba kayong natutulog?????

Para sa akin ito ay hindi isang tadhana kundi kusa mong ginawa….alam na alam mo kung gaano kita kamahal….pero sinaktan mo pa rin ako…bakit???? Madalas kong itanong sa aking sarili….bakit kailangan mangyari ang bagay na ito an kusa mong ginawa at sarili mong desisiyon…akala ko nagising ka na sa mga nakita mo sa paligid mo….pero nagkamali ako…hindi pala…gagawin mo rin pala na ako, kami ay saktan at iwanan…bakit??????

Kahit na anong gawin ko, bakit hindi mo magawa na kasuklaman at magalit sa iyo sa mga ginawa mo….dahil siguro nangingibabaw pa rin ang pagmamahal ko sa iyo at umaasa na isang araw ay magigising ka na at babalik sa amin ng mga anak mo upang mabuo na muli ang ating pamilya….MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA…..at walang akong dinadasal at hinihiling na sana ay Makita kita na nakatayo at kumakatok sa aming pintuan at nagsasabi na “ narito na ako at bumabalik na sa inyo ng mga anak ko, kalimutan na natin ang nangyari at magsimula muli tayo”


Magsisimula muli tayo, yan ang huling sinabi mo sa akin na tumutulo ang luha mo bago tayo umalis pauwi ng pilipinas…..na akala ko ay totoo, ngunit HINDI PALA….ang sakit…!!!!

SInabi mo rin na ako ay nasa puso mo pa rin at hindi mo tinutuldukan ang sa atin at malay ko..baka isang araw ay bumalik ka sa akin…..mananatili pa rin ba akong naghihintay at umaasa….mananatili pa rin ba ako na nasasaktan????

16 na taon na punong puno ng alaala…..hirap, sakit at saya…masama ba akong tao???? Wala nga akong kalaban-laban dahil, tama kayo…hindi mo ako asawa dahil hindi tayo kasal…pero ang 16 na taon ba na yon ay hindi pa matibay na patunay na tinalo pa natin ang mga ikinasal na tao….

Hindi ako naghangad ng yaman…at nung ano pa man….alam mo yan dahil lagi kong sinasabi sa iyo na AKO ANG TAONG WALANG PANGARAP….bakit??? dahil kuntento na ako sa buhay ko at masaya na ako…nariyan ka, kasama kita…may 2 na tayong anak….pero….nabuwag lahat yon…now, I feel empty without you!!!!

Ngayon nariyan ka , kasama ka niya, masaya kayo…. at alam ko na muli ay bubuo ka ng bago mong pamilya kasama niya,….. habang ako ay naririto….nag iisa….nasasaktan….umaasa at nagmamahal pa rin…….

ako pa rin

***just posting it here..wala lang....

12 Comments
The SENTENCE...the SONG
Posted:May 29, 2007 7:06 am
Last Updated:May 31, 2007 10:25 am
2711 Views
EASIER SAID THAN DONE

Wanna share with you these song from SHAKATAK

Say I don't miss you everyday
Don't need you anyway
I can take your love away

OOhh, but it's easier said than done
Can't shout out to anyone
Can't hide my love for none

(repeat all)

How come these sentence is so abuse, wherein it is really true...tell me your opinion about it...there are things that it is easy to say but very hard to do....whatever you put your mind into, the heart contradict it..hayyy....!!!

Any experience about it?????

4 Comments
Ang PUSO....
Posted:May 25, 2007 7:16 am
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2008 6:12 am
2914 Views
Bakit nga ba ganito ang nararamdaman
Kahit na ano pang pilit na gawin
Ikaw pa rin ang laging nasa isip
Puso ko ay ikaw ang isinisigaw

Bakit hindi ko magawa,
Na ikaw ay kamuhian at kalimutan
Sa lahat ng oras ikaw ay nasa isipan
Puso ko ay para sa iyo lamang

Pag mulat ng mga mata sa umaga
Pag pikit nitong muli sa gabi
Pangalan mo pa rin ang nasa isip
Puso at isipan ko ay iyong hinahawakan

Napakalapit mo na sa akin
Ngunit parang napakalayo mo pa rin
Hindi makuha na ikaw ay mahawakan
Puso ko na lamang ang tanging nakakaalam

Puso....hindi kaya ng isipan
Puso....hindi kayang pigilan
Puso....ng isang nagmamahal
Puso....ikaw ang isinisigaw

Kelan at hanggang saan
Ikaw ay hahanapin at pananabikan
Sana naman ako ay mapagbigyan
Puso mo ay muling buksan...

10 Comments
EXPLANATION please.....
Posted:May 24, 2007 9:51 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2007 6:40 am
2415 Views
I was in front of my laptop when i overheard people talking outside my room...then i become so confused about their topic...can you please give your own explanation about this topic and matter:

1. Is it TRUE that God love the SINNER more than the GOOD ONES?????, the reason why when you're good, God will surely take you away from this world to be with HIM, so, you won't commit more sins????

2. That God listen to the sinners and give them whatever they wish for rather than the good ones, because the good ones will understand Him for not giving in to their heart's desire and wishes????

3. Do i need to be a sinner, so that God will listen to me, see me, hear me and give in to all my heart's desire????

4. That KARMA really doesn't exist, if so, how come people around the world keeps on commiting sins but still living a contented and happy life????

PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR OPINIONS.....

7 Comments
JUST getting TIRED....
Posted:May 23, 2007 8:27 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2007 7:00 am
2339 Views
Don't have anything in my mind right now...i am drained maybe, going to and fro to goverment offices, talking to people in charge of my claim, labor case appeal and my status right now here in the island...is it legal for me to stay here??? am i an illegal alien now (TNT)???...but still got NO answer from the people who are in charge of knowing it..

Tired also of applying for a job around...especially when they interviewed me and asked me about my status...well, even me, i really don't know my status....!!!

Tired...bored...drained...hayyyyy

5 Comments
NEVER TO LATE....
Posted:May 20, 2007 9:57 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2007 4:08 am
2312 Views
This one, i know will be helpful...an inspiring ONE... I know some of us miss to do this...special moment in our lives just because of our so called "busy schedules"

That we've got to realize that showing your love every moment really counts...
So why waste time in expressing your real feelings to your partner while he/she is still with you..
there's nothing wrong with being showy as long as you make your partner happy.. you're not
doing anything wrong and no matter how busy your days become doing your other personal things,
you still catch up with him/her for the lost moments in your relationship. .

Its really a warm feeling having someone with you to love.. and someone who will love you.. so don't waste each moment you have.. show it and let him/her feel it.. for someday when the days are gone, you won't regret the days that you haven't given him/her what he deserves to have...

No matter we MUST show our love anc care to each and everyone, be it our better half, kids, family or friends...we really don't know what is bound to happen tomorrow...cherish every moment...spare some quality time...leave a memorable mark in ever one's heart....LIVE LIFE WITH LOVED ONES....LOVE AND BE LOVED!

3 Comments
READ this.....DON'T GROW OLD...
Posted:May 18, 2007 9:44 am
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2007 7:20 am
3065 Views

DON'T GROW OLD

Many people are afraid of growing old.
I'm afraid of growing old and boring.

Many people are afraid of growing old, alone.
I'm afraid of growing old, insane.

Many people are afraid of losing their looks.
I'm afraid of losing my dreams.

Many people are afraid of losing their youth.
I'm afraid of losing my soul.

When you're 15, 35 seems ancient.
When you're 35, 15 seems juvenile.

A turnaround in a split second - two decades zoom past
and
before you know it, it's only a mile to the next
millennium.

Don't fear age,
it's a right of person-hood.

Don't fear death- it's God's greatest jest.

Don't grow old - you don't have to.

Don't date because you're desperate.

Don't marry because you're miserable.

Don't have kids because you think your genes are
superior.

Don't separate because you think ! it's fashionable.

Don't drink because you have troubles.

Don't gamble because you think winning is inevitable.

Don't philander because you think you're irresistible.
Most likely, you're not.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat.
Don't lie.
Don't pretend.

Don't try to buy your way into the kingdom of God.

Don't dictate because you're smarter.

Don't demand because you're stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you're old enough
and know
better.

Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.

Don't sell yourself, your family or your ideals.

Don't stagnate.
Don't regress.

Learn a new skill.

Find a new friend.

Start a new career.

Don't live in the past.

Time can't bring anything or anyone back.

Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.

Don't throw you life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong
because your
b! iological clock is ticking and you can't afford to
have your
eggs harvested before the new millennium.

There's always a mad rush to something, somewhere -
but victory
does not always belong to those who finish first.

Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to
be paid
for some of life's more hasty decisions.

You can't always go with the throng who could be
wrong.

Sometimes, you have to be alone to be enlightened.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the
homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.

Don't bring another life into this world for all the
wrong
reasons.

To keep yourself warm, buy a jacket.
In the long run, it will be less complicated and less
costly.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be
the best of
what you can be.

Simplify your life.
Take away the clutter.
Get r! id of destructive elements - abusive friends,
nasty habits
and dangerous liaisons.

Don't abandon your responsibilities, but don't
overdose on duty.
Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling
for your
family.

Be true to yourself. Don't commit when you're not
ready.

Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Fall in love - it's the greatest thing on earth.
But take care and remember, after the fall must come
the rise.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.

Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you must even at society's scorn.

Write poetry. Love deeply. Walk barefoot. Hold hands.
Dance with wild abandon. Cry at the movies.
Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.

You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except you.
It is true that life doesn't get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.

Don't be afraid.
Don't lose your capacity to love.

Pursue your passions.
Live your dreams.

Don't lose faith in God.

Don't grow old.....
Just grow up.

****a friend send me this and I think this one is worth sharing to each and everyone here...enjoy reading and learn something from it....
9 Comments
Today,...MAY 16, 2007
Posted:May 15, 2007 10:02 pm
Last Updated:May 21, 2007 4:18 am
2314 Views
Whoa!!! As of today, I've been here in CNMI, Saipan for 2 straight months and now, still i am on the verge of not knowing what is the status of my labor case...hayyy..I kept on wondering what happened to the Labor and Federal Ombudsman around here, Is it because they are all busy with the so called "DRAFT BILL for LABOR AND IMMIGRATION FEDERALIZATION"...for the status of the NON RESIDENT WORKERS around here who are fighting to get a "GREEN CARD" and of the "WAGE HIKE"....just to look upon my pending labor case because i am a NOBODY here?????? hayyy

I am giving myself another month...then that's it...i think i have to stop waiting and hoping...for what I knew is my right...MY CLAIM...i am giving up actually...I think i don't have any luck here anymore and need to go back to the place where i truly belong...

I have experienced a lot of pain and hurt while i am here and i don't want to prolong it anymore...I am running out of patience....by just hoping and waiting.....JUST LEAVE EVERYTHING behind here on the island and better start a NEW LIFE...I think there's a BETTER OPPORTUNITY AND PLACE for me than here.....

So, i think comes JUNE...GOODBYE TO SAIPAN, thank you for all the experience AND WELCOME HOME PHILIPPINES....for a new and better life ahead of me....

4 Comments
It's MOTHER'S DAY....MAY 13....
Posted:May 12, 2007 7:56 pm
Last Updated:May 18, 2007 9:52 am
2268 Views
Happy Mother's Day....a special day for all the mom's in the world...

Saturday, My son Micko greeted me in advance through our chat:

MICKO (5/11/2007 7:26:54 PM): advance happy mother's day
MICKO (5/11/2007 7:50:55 PM): kain na muna
MICKO(5/11/2007 7:51:04 PM): bye b ye
MICKO (5/11/2007 7:51:07 PM): ingtz plagi
MICKO(5/11/2007 7:51:12 PM): take care
MICKO (5/11/2007 7:51:16 PM): love you
MICKO(5/11/2007 7:51:18 PM): mwah

...then last night at exactly 12 midnight here, Saipan time, my two daugther, ABBY and MEA called me up through overseas call and greeted me a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAy...

***a touching moment, hearing from all your kids, that they miss you and they love you so much...that they will always be there for you no matter what happen....

*** i don't have a complete family right now, wherein it is a mother's wish and dream to have a complete and happy family...but anyway...i am still blessed and lucky, i do have my kids..even though the father is not around and spending Mother's day with somebody else....

***a mother's wish...children's wishes....love another, care for one another, help one another and always be there when one of the member need you.....

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

5 Comments

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