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YOU MUST KNOW ME FIRST

you will know me better by reading my blog....this blog is my outlet....whatever i feel...whatever it is that's on my mind...i put and write it down here...you can tell who i am by reading my blog because this is the real me



just enjoy reading my blog....it's a true feelings and story...

GETTING TIRED....!!!!!!
Posted:Oct 7, 2007 1:24 am
Last Updated:Oct 23, 2007 7:36 pm
3582 Views
I’m done with my laundry today and will pack my things again…Hayy…Life in Saipan, for me was not that easy since I came back here last March 16. It was full of hardships and heartaches.

Right now, I am going to transfer to another house for I cannot afford to stay with a friend right now in her house. Many reasons why, one is, I really cannot possibly give her my share which is $200 a month. Second, she was the one who betrayed me and stabbed me at my back, the reason why I am now out of work. I don’t need to elaborate about these matter…But even you maybe, if you were in my shoes you would possibly do the same thing. No, I don’t have any grudges at all, it just that it is really hard to put your trust to anyone else around you. There are times that there’s this person who you thought was a real friend but in the end…you’ll be sorry!!! Lesson learned again!

For almost 7 months of my stay here, 4 months without work and waiting for the outcome of the labor case. It’s been a tough fight for me, then 2 and half months with work but suddenly it turns out not that good as well. Working with a very mean, rude and inconsiderate Korean employer, working with Chinese people who got a few knowledge in English. Communication with my employer and co-workers was a big problem and that sometimes it comes into miscommunication and misinterpretation. Hirap ata mag ‒ English barok at carabao. 7 months that I’ve been to 4 houses already, imagine that…!!!

Really getting tired and asking myself “when would I would probably give up?”. I never lose my faith to the One above. Telling myself that all of these things that is happening to me has a reason. But I can’t help asking myself “when would my trials comes to it’s end?”. Nobody knows! Only Him knows it! Maybe it was written that I will come to the point of all of these things and will test my faith.

I have to transfer to another house again and then will look if there would be an available job for me again….if there’s nothing…time to think of the next step!

Got to go now, I really need to be in a hurry…I really don’t know if I could possibly get online again. Please bear with me my friends and please do keep on praying for me. Thank you very much and I do appreciate everyone who share my sentiments and whining around here in my blog!

Goodbye for now! God Bless US!!!!!!

12 Comments
My Father's special day....
Posted:Oct 6, 2007 12:39 am
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2017 11:54 pm
2784 Views
[Just the other day, I saw a black butterfly flying and trying to comes in inside the house. By the time he gets through, he keeps on flying around me and then landed on my knee and stays there for a while. Thinking that surely the butterfly represents my father for his birthday will come. I know whenever I am into a big problem, trouble and situation he will be here that surely reminds me that he will always be here to guide and watch me.

Today, October 6, is my father’s special day. It’s his birthday today and this will be the 2nd birthday that he won’t be around with us to celebrate it. But I did asked my family back home to offer a mass and cook for something, that even though he won’t be around, we will still celebrate his birthday.

How I do miss him now, all his thoughts and advices, during the time that he will reprimand me for all the bad decisions in life, when I am down he will always be there. And these words that keeps on lingering in my mind and thoughts “Mahal na mahal ko ang anak ko na ito, ito ang favorite ko sa lahat, ito ang nakakuha ng utak ko”…whoa, tears are now falling in my eyes…I do really miss him!

Padear, wherever you are now. I wish that you are happy! I know that you will be safe and there will no more pain for you. Just keep on guiding me and our family especially Madear….just keep on watching us….I LOVE YOU and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

0 Comments
COINCIDENCE????? SIGNIFICANCE????
Posted:Oct 4, 2007 3:34 am
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2007 12:24 am
3000 Views
What a coincidence it is really... This date, OCTOBER 4, I still remember when HOTCRUSHER left me in the Philippines, the date was October 4, 2005, few days after we bring my father to rest, 10 days after we set foot again to the Philippines, wherein he promised me that "we will start a new life and forget everything that happened here in the island". It's been 2 years now. I thought I am already over it, but nah!!!!

Now, It's October 4 again!!! If I remember it right, Today is the feast day of St. Francis de Assissi.

My yesterday blog was asking friends around for prayers with regards to my situation here about my job. It's over and done now. Yes, I know God hear our prayers but maybe He got other plans for me. Just thinking now and consoling myself.

Yes friends, it is so sad....I am now again OUT OF WORK, starting tomorrow...back to basic again!!! I really don't know whose fault it is, even though I know some people around me tries to destroy me, A friend whom I thought was a REAL FRIEND...how could I easily trust a person, maybe because I am that easy to pleased and easily give out to my trust to anyone, thinking they would do the same to me, as the saying goes "What you reap, is what you sow"...but now I learned that it is not true always because of people's attitude and behavior. We are all created with different qualities, belief and attitude.

Now, thinking...I already cancelled my plane ticket because I thought everything will work out fine and all will ends well....What would I do now????? The friend I am reffering to, also would like me to pack my things and set myself somewhere else...I have to pack my things now and look a place to go within this week...It will be hard on my side but what else can I do??? I don't have any choice at all....do I???

Thanks for all those who pray for me....I know...this is not the end yet...more trials will come my way....all i need now is TO BE STRONG TO FACE WHAT TOMORROW WOULD AGAIN BRING ME....

Again asking is this a COINCIDENCE...there's a significance on the date....

4 Comments
An Update...again!
Posted:Oct 2, 2007 9:25 pm
Last Updated:Oct 4, 2007 7:23 pm
3018 Views
Update again...

October 2 at 10 o'clock in the morning, I am ready to go to do all the things that need to be done today.

First, I went to my friend's office, Mitchelle, to get the letter I did asked her to print for me. Thanks a lot Mitchelle!

Second, Then I proceeded to my new employer's office to get all the important documents that I need to attach on my letter to the Labor Collection Unit.

Third, Talked to the Labor Collection Unit official regarding my cancellation of application for P.L. 11-66 and explained it to him further why I have to cancel it, which he approved.

Fourth, Go to directly to my workplace and start working at 11:45 am. The game room was busy that day. I do have a lot of players who are trying their luck on the poker machine.

Later in the afternoon, My korean employer arrived. He then asked me what happened to me at the Labor office. I did explained it to him in broken english, the easiest way, so he could able to understand me, but then again, it seems like he still misunderstood my explanation. He talked to the person who helped me out for this job and told her that he won't hire me anymore for I already have my plane ticket and was already paid by the Labor office. WHOA! Another complication...Why it is so complicated????

Now, thinking, maybe one of these days I will be jobless again.. Once the new cashier comes in, who is holding an Immediate Relative status starts to work, maybe...just maybe...my boss who actually is mean and rude will just tell me not to report to work anymore.

Actually my working paper is not yet release, It was still UNDER REVIEW...whoa again! My application has been filed since last August 14 and until now would you believe that they don't have time to review and process it...How long does it take to review a paper and documents which is complete...so, tell me what kind of employee do they have here????? Nah!

Now, tears pouring down my eyes for I know God is again teasing me or trials are still on me. I really don't know what have i done to deserve these kind of misfortune in life or God has still have another plan for me..I really don't know!!!!!

Whatever happens...it's my fate and destiny!

But please again to all my friends around in here, all i will ask you is to please do pray for me, for I know if 2 or more prays for a wish or favor. He will surely listen. I badly needed this job....Let the Holy Spirit comes down and enligthen me and everyone around me...

THanks to all of you who are faithfully reading my sentiments here in my blog.....God bless!!!!

5 Comments
October bad news......
Posted:Oct 1, 2007 2:15 am
Last Updated:Oct 31, 2007 11:45 pm
2949 Views
Whoa...the sky was so dark and it's raining so hard today here on the island....Bad news comes my way on the first day of October.

I was at work when i do received a phone call from the guy from the Ombudsman's office..He was hesitant to tell me the news because he already knew that i am doing okey and have a job right now.

Then he burst it out by telling me that my repatriation ticket is ready and is in the hands of the Labor office and should leave the island by October 10...if you we're in my shoe, maybe you'll feel the same way i feel when I heard the news, surprised and shocked!

I was trying to explain to him that during that time the Labor officials told me that I can't apply for that so called P.L. 11-66 because my labor case is still pending for the reason that my employer filed an appeal, and yet, we have to wait for the decision coming from the Secretary of Labor, himself, so, I thought it was already cancelled for I even asked the Ombudmans case worker guy to cancel it, then I will just apply for a MEMORANDUM and then will surely get a TWA permit. hayyyy I think it is the Ombudmans case worker's fault and not mine at all.

Now, he was asking me to go and meet the guy in Labor's office by tomorrow and talk it out with him...he should accompany me but he told me he would be busy and he can't go with me..He even asked me to write a formal letter cancelling my application for that P.L. 11-66...oh my! the question is...He should be the one doing it and not me...hayyy again

What if the Labor official don't accept my cancelation of that application? What will happen? Will I go back to the Philippines by October 10? Whoa!!! I do have work now and these things happen like a thief of the night.

I called up HOTCRUSHER and asked him to accompany me tomorrow but he declined too...How come whenever he was the one asking favor from me, I will surely obliged...hayy again!

I will go to my new employer's office by tomorrow morning before proceeding to Labor office, to get some of the documents I needed to fight for my right of staying around...will be very busy!!!!

PLEASE DO PRAY FOR ME and THANKS!

5 Comments
His SPECIAL day!!!!!!
Posted:Sep 28, 2007 10:05 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2007 5:15 am
3780 Views
September 29...a very special day of person who become a part of my life...MR. HOTCRUSHER!!!!

Last Monday, we, together with my former group the HOTLIPS band, went to Labor office and get the DECISION letter coming from the Secretary of Labor here in Saipan...From there, the 4 of us have lunch..and he bought a "siopao asado" for her new live in girl for pasalubong...of course, it hurts me...the girl called but his cellphone went off because of the battery, so then, he called her up using the restaurant's phone...He seems so happy talking to to her..

Then, yesterday, he went over to my workplace and show me the gift of the girl for him. It's a REVO, a remote control gasoline operated car....Whoa...it costs her $250 for that gift and then asked me what's my gift for him, so i asked what he want as a bithday gift..at first he said he eagerly wants a new cellphone..whoa! I can't afford it, but later on changed his mind...he was asking for a 2 Hawaiian polo, a jersey shirt and a cargo short...which i obliged..YES! i bought him!!!!

Last night, I eagerly wants to call him to greet him but control myself. But this afternoon I did and greeted him.

Today, He came over to pick up my gifts for him and i learned that his new girl got a little annoyed or jealous...OH MY!!! Well, it's not my fault...all I want was to obliged on his wishes...

Yes, maybe it's wrong for me to still buy him gifts wherein I know he was still hurting me, He is only using me by needing me only wherener he got problems with regards with our case, that I am not that important to him anymore, that he took me for granted and that he dumped me....You can call me STUPID..but this is ME!!!!!!

Now, loving him in silence and greeting him a HAPPY 38TH BIRTHDAY....wishing him all the happiness and all the best to come...

I know i have to let go and I am now moving on with my life..I am now used without him...i know...i will survive!!!!!!

25 Comments
WHOA...Read it.....
Posted:Sep 19, 2007 8:37 pm
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2007 8:17 pm
3105 Views
Hey, It's thursday, September 20, I got a phone call here in my work coming from MR. HOTCRUSHER, himself. He got this news about our labor case...Our names are now in today's issue of Marianas Variety, a newspaper here in Saipan.

I don't have any idea about what's going on with my labor case because I know that the Federal Ombudsman case worker would be the one responsible about it...but, whoa! after reading it, i was suprised, the case worker got hold of the decision from the Secretary of Labor and never did he contact any one of us.....hayyyy!!!

Here's a copy of the news....READ IT...

By Cherrie Anne E. Villahermosa
Variety News Staff

A BUSINESSMAN who runs a dance school on Saipan has asked for a judicial review of the Department of Labor’s decision on a labor complaint ruling in favor of four alien workers.
Angel Santos of Angels International School of Dance through attorney Stephen Woodruff filed a complaint in Superior Court against the Department of Labor and Secretary of Labor Gil San Nicolas.
The complaint is seeking a judicial review of the department’s action in connection with a labor complaint filed by Rommel C. Isidro, Ryan C. Isidro, Virgilio S. Gunida and Eileen L. Duran.
Santos wants the court to set aside Labor’s decision and to set a briefing schedule for the processing of his appeal.
The complaint affidavit stated that on March 16, the Division of Administrative Hearings of Labor issued four separate administrative orders in the case filed by the four workers against Santos.
The orders contained awards of monetary damages to the workers.
Santos appealed to the secretary of Labor on April 9.
He asserted the following as grounds for appeal:
• The administrative hearing officer did not afford him adequate opportunity to present a defense;
• The decision was not supported by substantial evidence;
• The administrative order failed to comply with 1 CMC 9110 (c) (1) that all orders of decisions of any agency include a statement of “the reason or basis for all material issues of fact, law or discretion presented on the record.”
The secretary of Labor affirmed the decision on Aug. 29, and it was served to the plaintiff’s counsel on Aug. 31.
Santos said no transcript or copy of the administrative record was ever supplied to him.
The complaint stated that Santos was never afforded an opportunity to argue or further support his appeal.
Instead, he added, the decision of the hearing officer was summarily affirmed by the secretary of Labor.
The complaint stated that the Commonwealth Administrative Procedure Act, or CAPA, expressly requires that record review be based on either a transcript or a summary of testimony.
It added that the decision of the secretary affirming the decision of the hearing officer “was arbitrary, capricious and an abuse of discretion or otherwise not in accordance with applicable law and that the plaintiff was denied appellate due process.”

****even us, the case worker didn't furnish us a copy of the Secretary of Labor's decision...what a case worker....and mind you HE'S A FILIPINO!!!!!!! hayyy
8 Comments
MY 6 MONTHS....HERE!!!!!
Posted:Sep 17, 2007 11:35 pm
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2007 2:21 am
2606 Views
We are now on "BER" month and I am here in Saipan, CNMI for 6 months already. Time really flies so fast, before 7pm was seem still too early but now by 7pm darkness comes in....

Reminiscing, I came over here for the hearing of my labor case last March 16, 2007, wherein until now it was still unsolved, for the reason that my former employer filed an appeal, maybe because he doesn't want to pay or they just want to prolonged it. We are given 45 days to find and transfer to a new employer, but then, before and after the 45 days, with the help of a friend from FFF (no names please) and of course, myself, all i want was justice and I want to fight for my right, so I make myself available and went to the Labor office and appealed that 45 days, I was given a MEMORANDUN, which will allow you to stay legally and look for a TWA (Temporary Working Authorization) employer...until now, no decision yet coming from the Secretary of labor here.

For the last 4 months of my stay here. I was unemployed. I have to ask friends for help, fortunately my mother and friends are always around to support and pray for me even helped me out with my financial needs. After that 4 months, I was so desperate and then turned myself to God and prayed sincerely...asking Him for help and support...

"God, I really don't know what's Your purpose of letting me come over here, but if my wish won't be granted then allow me to go back home, or if YOU still have other plans for me, then let me find a job around here, so, I can survive"

Then by next day....A JOB WAS OFFERED to me...whoa! God has answered my prayer immediately and then thinking maybe He still have plans for me...i will just patiently wait whatever it is....and I know it's for the betterment of me...

Now, I am working for 2 straight months, with my TWA permit which allows me to work for 3 months, and I started working last JULY 17...but then again, until now, my TWA permit has not come out yet or let say it was not approved yet...which mean if they approved it by this month, instead of working 3 months...It will be 5 months...WHOA...a blessing!

I can send money back home now, I don't need to transfer to house to another just to have a roof on my head, I don't have to continue sustaining myself with just coffee and bread...I can eat 3 times a day...and I think I am doing well...as for now!!!!

Problems still arises...but I am strong...pain and hurt is still here in my heart...but I can overcome it...God will always be around, I know!

To my mother and Friends...here in Saipan and in FFF, I salute you..i do appreciate all your help...I am grateful to you...Each and everyone of you are MY ANGELS WITHOUT WINGS!!!!

This is just an update...sunshine in Saipan in 6 months...

5 Comments
I MISS YOU.........
Posted:Sep 16, 2007 4:39 am
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2007 9:57 pm
2553 Views
The moment I open up my eyes this morning
It is you I am thinking of
I know, you are here with me
I can sense and feel it...
The cold air and shivering of my skin

How I do really miss you
And you feel the same way too
If only you are really here, physically
That's how I do really wish
Especially now that I really need someone like you

It's been two years now
And I feel it was only recently
But that two years for me is such a long time
For I am terribly missing you
And I know you knew it as well

Looking back, reminiscing...
I really learned a lot from you
We usually end up discussing things
Just because, we have the same attitude and ways of thinking
The words of wisdom that you shared with me..

September 16 it is
It is now your 2nd death anniversary...
I am offering a prayer and ligthed a candle, for you
Wishing you already find the light
That you are happy and at peace wherever you are

Dear Padear......
Wherever you may be now
I know you're still looking and guiding me
I LOVE YOU.....and
I DO REALLY MISS YOU,........

6 Comments
LIFE it is.....
Posted:Sep 12, 2007 2:02 am
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2007 6:25 pm
2179 Views
Life...oh life...as the first lyrics of the song that suddenly comes into my mind...

What is life????

LIfe is mysterious, we really don't know what are the things that are bound to happen the next day...
Life is what we make it.

Life is like a game, full of challenges...life is a risk, if you are willing to take it...

Life is about winning and losing...
You are lucky if you win but if you lose then try again, maybe what you want really doesn't belong to you...and willingly accept your defeat..

We can make our life a little easier if we will learn to accept things that we can't accept, accept defeat and try to get up again...at least we tried and we don't have any "what if's or if only"

Now, My life is my life, It is me, myself who has the right to make it better...make it worthy...with the help of SOMEONE ABOVE!!!!

Whatever direction He leads me, I know it is for my own good...I am hurting and in pain, but what's new then...because i allowed myself to get hurt...I have to take it easy....

Life...oh life....life, as the song ends!!!!

4 Comments

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