Just posting... Sep 23, 2008 7:02 pm 1780 Views Hello everyone..I am here inside an internet cafe...just checking out FFF and emails around...it's so expensive here...imagine $3.00/hour and i have to walk for 45 minutes just to come down here...then i have to go back and walk for another 45 minutes...whew! sooooo tiring and I am sweating already....super INIT!!!! i miss you all!!!!!! 23 Comments

Tomorrow andThank YOU...... Sep 19, 2008 5:15 am 1773 Views Tomorrow, Sunday, September 20 would be my last day here...it really makes me sad but there's nothing I can do about it...in a way I am thankful to my friend who left for Canada last September 2nd for allowing me stay in her rented house here in Tinian, Commonwealth of Northern Mariana which will end till end of this month....the reaon why I can go online 24/7...But the phone lines and utilities will be until Sept 21st only...so, i have to vacate the house on the 21st... I woud like to give thanks to everyone who supported me here in my blog and all my groups around here in FFF. For the last 2 or 3 months that I've been active, again, that brings me , AGAIN, to the top as the most active member among groups.... Hoping I could interact more, exchange ideas and opinion but time takes what is due...I have to leave FFF for the meantime but really don't know when i'll able to be back again in circulation... Here, I found TRUE AND REAL FRIENDS...even though this is what we called cyberspace...some of them I met personally , some of them no, but they all touch my heart one way or the other... THanks to you.....I will be making my last blog maybe tomorrow..... This is not really GOODBYE...but hope to see you again next time....!!!! 17 Comments

3rd Anniversary. Sep 16, 2008 6:52 am 1766 Views I feel something strange today....i am having a goosebump and I don't know the reason why...It's been 2 nights that I am sleeping with my lights on...let me tell you why.... Just the other night, I was about to fall asleep, around 2 or 3 in the morning..I turned off the lights in my room...actually I was half asleep then..when i feel something or see something...there was this shadow of a big man and he was about to embrace me..so, i get up and opened up the lights..i am quite scared especially that I am all alone in this big house...and the surroundings...so quiet...!!! It's around 4 am when i got the chance to sleep. Then last night...I think I don't want to sleep again with my lights off..so, i decided to keep it on....nothing unusual happen anyway... But today..I was chatting with a friend and we are talking about his mom who got cancer and he wants to go home to see her. I am consoling him and telling him stories about my father...I become teary eyed because those memories comes flashing back into my mind...The last time that I had a chance to talked to him before he goes into sleep without waking up... I can feel some tingling sensation...i don't know why..well, I thought may father's death anniversary is on the 17th, but when I saw my brother online, i asked him when is the death anniversary...and he told me..IT'S TODAY...waaaahhh...I didn't know!!! He asked me if i did sense or feel something because my father visited him already..he smell the scent of a candle inside his room in Qatar...nah!!! that was it...he is around with me today!!! Tonight, before I went out of my room to get my juice...I am already talking to him...I told him..."don't let me see you...I am bit scared..you know that I am all aone here"...when I get back to my room that's the time that i also smell the scent of a burning candle....and started talking to him again...IN A LOUD VOICE!!! Now, I miss him ..Yes! so, I am asking for prayers...please offer a silent prayer for our beloved father...his name is ROMEO.... 12 Comments

For the SECOND TIME AROUND Sep 15, 2008 8:21 am 1766 Views I am reposting my blog here...I wrote this one last May 25, 2007...during the times that i was really down...Luckily, through a group on the other site..i got the chance to know about the email ad of a priest friend...so, i send him this one and he replied back answering all the queries here... My Bog and his answer.... I was in front of my laptop when i overheard people talking outside my room...then i become so confused about their topic...can you please give me your own explanation about this topic and matter: 1. Is it TRUE that God love the SINNER more than the GOOD ONES?????, the reason why when you're good, God will surely take you away from this world to be with HIM, so, you won't commit more sins???? HIS ANSWER: 1. it is not true that God loves the sinner MORE than the holy ones. the truth is God loves them BOTH. hence the reason you mentioned doesnt apply and there's no need fo me to explain it. 2. That God listen to the sinners and give them whatever they wish for rather than the good ones, because the good ones will understand Him for not giving in to their heart's desire and wishes???? HIS ANSWER:2. again the answer is NO! God listens to every prayer that comes from an honest and sincere heart, whether of a sinner or saint. God grants favors that are ONLY for the good of the petitioner. no matter how much we think we need a particular thing, God's wisdom is way beyond our understanding and so sometimes and even oftentimes, God doesnt give in to our desires for the simple reason that they are not good for us. 3. Do i need to be a sinner, so that God will listen to me, see me, hear me and give in to all my heart's desire???? HIS ANSWER:3. this is a foolish question which you yourself should know the answer. pardon my word. if that is God's logic then i don't believe in that god. he is not God in the first place. god loves the sinner but he surely hates SIN! 4. That KARMA really doesn't exist, if so, how come people around the world keeps on commiting sins but still living a contented and happy life???? HIS ANSWER:4. karma from theChristian point of view means that every action we make, there are automatic consequences. good consequences for good actions and bad consequences for bad actions. no need for further explanation. sinners living a happy and contented life? what is REAL LIFE by the way? it is in fact, life in CHRIST! sinners dont have that life! but they are welcome to it if they repent. LIFE is perfected in heaven. life on earth no matter how good and perfect it may seem is nothin compared to the life that is to come - our eternatl life in the presence of our CREATOR in heaven [sisze 2]PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR OPINIONS HIS ANSWER:finally, pray for those from whom you heard these opinions. they are confused, misguided and totally WRONG! and mind you, you should know better my dear.. The priest is a dear friend of mine...I fondly caled him KUTZIE (which mean KUYA TOOTCHIE now I called him Father Kutzie)..we grew up together..we belong in one congregation..ROMAN CATHOLIC...we belong to one group during our time which we called BOND OF LOVE SOCIETY...a socio religious group for youth then...way back....and I am happy for the last years that I haven't seen nor talked to him...but because of cyberspace/internet we do now open up our communication again!!! 6 Comments

Just wanna share this....... Sep 11, 2008 7:24 am 1821 Views I can't help it i need to write it down...i don't know but today I keep on staring on my computer...browsing here and there...going in and out of blog section...same with my groups..post a little...keep on checking emails...chatting with friends...old and new...but my mind is out of nowhere....i don't know what occupies it...until tonight... Tears flowed down from my eyes, Just tonight!!!! I had a chance to chat with my kids...at first it was Mea, my youngest...my 16 year old daughter...we joke, we exchange pictures...we tell stories..we talked about her dad...and telling me how terribly she misses me and love me. Then later on...it was my eldest, my only son, MICKO..my 20 year old son...same thing with Mea....but because he was more mature..i can't help but cry whenever he said.."Ma, you take care there, you are all alone there..." "I love you and I miss you" Those sweet words coming from my kids... For those who don't know...my kids are not together but they see each other everyday in school and my son always comes over to my mother's house...where Mea stay. I even told both of them to take care of my old mother..talked to her, make her happy. This kind of feeling I can't explain...a mother's love to her children...and a child love to her mother...a bondage that nobody else can ever replace or destroy. Missing each other, longing to be with each other... I know everyone misses me..and wanted to see me back home safely...but I promise myself...I will just finished all my obligation and responsibillty here and then maybe...IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO BACK HOME..... 14 Comments

I am not PERFECT... Sep 10, 2008 6:54 pm 1894 Views Are you looking for a perfect person??? I am just a human being who wanted to be happy...I am not perfect at all..I have my flaws... People change, even though you/they don't want to..they do, we do!!!When we got older and become mature, we do have different wants and need....we do change our ideas and beliefs. Now, looking for happiness, someone who could fill the emptiness in you...to fill something that seems lacking?? Everybody needs someone to grow old with....share laugther and tears... I am not perfect!!!but I promise you this...whoever you are...I will stick with you...will take you as you are...will love you for the rest of my life..... The question now is WHERE IS THAT SOMEONE????? nah!!! this is just one my wishes... 32 Comments

JUST nothing....09.10.08 Sep 9, 2008 7:54 pm 1879 Views Blue is my color today!well, like my sister Elsa told me..maybe just making a trip back to MEMORY LANE.... There's a significance about this this month and day....and i just can't help THINKING!!!!!! nothing here actually...AGAIN...whinning and thinking...wishing myself....HAPPINESS and out of EMPTINESS...wish me luck then! 18 Comments

What a FEELING!!!!! Sep 9, 2008 3:17 am 1933 Views There are times that you do feel a little upset...a little down...and me, as of now...feels it...I don't know where's this feeling coming from...i am just a little sad..or maybe because i have no one around..YES! I am all alone now...maybe not really used to without someone with me...well, talking about friends...I do have here in this site but one who is personally with me...someone you can talk to...someone you can tell stories...someone you can laugh with.... Something happened last night...and that's what makes me think and feel this way...maybe!!! or maybe because this is the month i don't want to come...i really don't know.... while writing this blog...i can't help it...tears just flowed down from my little chinky eyes....am i hurt??? do i feel empty??? I really don't know...something stabbing myn heart and i can't explain why.... Maybe...this is just a feeling...i know these will pass too...it will just take a little time... 18 Comments

Thinking OUT LOUD.... Aug 22, 2008 3:50 am 1685 Views I've been active with this site, again, for the last 2 months maybe or less than...and as i surfed around blogs and groups...all i can read mostly from here...is about LOVE... Some are happy with their relationship right now, be it long distance or just around the corner. Some are bitter and in pain and going through a lot of heartache. Some do have problems because they are having a closet relationship...hey, maybe you know what i mean here.. How come this 4 letter word can give a person different kind of feelings? An unexplainable feeling.. LOve..if this is the topic..lots of people can have a million words to say about it...LOve can be wrong, as they say and it can be right...but then what is true love really???? All i know is everyone wanted someone to be with him/her for the rest of his/her life...someone you can turn to when you needed a shoulder to cry on or share happy moments. Everyone around wanted to be love and be love.... and....I am ONE OF THEM.... ANY TAKER?????? 14 Comments

a FRIEND'S story Aug 15, 2008 6:33 am 1770 Views This is a story of a friend...this friend asked me to write it...so, here it goes....actually i wrote this for the magazine wherein I am one of the correspondents/contributor...but it was not published..i just want to share their story to you... A Story and Judge me….. This is a story of a friend and would like to share with you. Who we are to judge a person? We are all here to understand each situation without discrimination. Without being judgmental as long as a person doesn’t step on other toes. It was all started during their high school days. Both of them are in 3rd year then and classmates. They are in the same group of friends, enjoyed each other’s company, laughed at each other’s jokes. One time while in a friend’s house, something out of the blue happened. A surprise that never occur to them. They felt something inside but afraid to let it out. They both are lying on the bed waiting for sleep to take over. Suddenly a feeling bursts out and they just found out that they are kissing each other. It was the first kiss and nobody speaks about it. No one among them dare to ask why it happened. Maybe then, they really don’t understand the meaning of the word LOVE and feelings. The friendship remain till the end of school year. While on their 4th year. They separate for they are not classmates anymore. A simple hi and hello if they see each other, without any words again about the kiss. But, anonymously letters has been sent changing the style of handwriting. Graduation day arrives. In a small dark room congratulating each other, again it happened, it was the second kiss and after that they bid each other goodbye not looking back. Surprised and ashamed. From then on, both of them have a few relationships. Some of them lasted and some are not but deep inside there’s a feeling that nobody could possibly explain and understand. There are times that they visited each other just for the sake of friendship or maybe they just want to know how the other is coping with life. Days and years have passed. One of them just recently had ended a relationship that lasted for almost about 7 years. Holy week arrive and friends decided to invite old friends to join them in what you called “BISITA IGLESIA”. That’s the time wherein they had the chance to really talk it over. They slept together but they want to keep as a secret for they don’t want to hurt anybody especially their own family who trusted them. The family who thought that they are just the best of friends That is the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Fate and destiny really bring them together, whatever odds and obstacles comes their way. I, for one, as the writer of these story is a witness of their ardent love and passion for each other. The one who stays here in Saipan while the other one is in the Philippines. They keep the communication open through texting, chat and phone calls. No hindrance can take away the love they have for each other not even oceans and miles away. I know that people will judge them because their relationship is not that easy to understand. Loving and the feeling of being in love and loved. Relationship that sometimes people condemn…but as I say , who are we to judge them? It is love that brings them together. Relationship with same sex, whoever stand as man or a woman on this kind of relationship doesn’t really matter. It is their choice. Maybe, it is their fate and destiny. Who knows??????? 16 Comments

 sunshine8

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