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Highs and Lows
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Dec 8, 2009 3:47 am
1074 Views
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Today was one of the happiest days I've had in a while. I received something that I'd wished, hoped, and prayed for... something that I thought I might not get due to technical complications that I partly caused  . I had kicked myself over that for a few days until I finally calmed down and accepted that what's done is done and to just wait and see what happens.
Anyway, I felt high and giddy after first getting the news. I was bouncing all over the walls of the office  ... good thing my boss wasnt here then  . Then after my pulse slowed down a bit, the next impulse was to spread my happiness - share the news with people who will be happy with me.
So I texted my mom, my sister, one of my aunts who knew about it, three of my closest friends, then...
I realized there was nobody else to tell. And I fell back to earth with a loud crash...
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Deaf, blind, and stupid
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Dec 7, 2009 3:06 am
1024 Views
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Sometimes it's so annoying to be around people newly in love (or deep in "crush", without realizing it's just that), because they tend to exist in a bubble. They fail to recognize the signs even when these are staring them in the face.
There's this friend of mine who seems to fall in love with a different guy every other month. Every time she meets a new guy who treats her nicely, or appears to be thoughtful, or does sweet little things for her, she falls easily, madly, deeply.
Unfortunately, more often than not, she stumbles into players. One would think she would have recognized the signs by now, given how often it has happened to her already. But no - she continues to blindly believe what she wants, maybe with the hope that if she wished for it hard enough, it would eventually come true.
It would have been easy to just let her go her own way - it's her heart anyway, and she can let people trample upon it as often as she wants. But half-knowing what the results would be, it's kinda hard for her friends to let her be.
We try to warn her every time she tells us of this new guy she met at work or somewhere, to remind her of the past instances when she'd been so excited and optimistic too, only to come crying to us afterwards. We try to tell her to be careful and not expose her heart so blatantly this time, so she wont get hurt - or at least, not too much.
But she is oh, so stubborn! Being the more outspoken of our friends, I had gotten into a debate with her more than once, which had sometimes ended in a rift between us. She just won't listen. She even accused me one time of just wanting to burst her bubble because I was jealous that she was happy and I was not. Of course that hurt, and I stopped arguing with her and let her find out on her own if I was right in my precautions. We always patch things up later, which I guess shows how strong our friendship is.
It just saddens my friends and I that she seems to attract all the wrong guys and doesnt even seem to notice it. She doesnt see the trend and refuses to listen to us when we point it out to her.
And now, she's at it again. She'd been so excited the whole day, chatting about this new guy she met - about the 3rd guy she's told me about since summer (that I can recall ). She swears it's real this time, and that the guy is serious about her. She really seems so happy that even I am hesitating whether to warn her again or not. Im sure she won't listen anyway, and I might end up looking like the bad guy again.
I hope she's right this time, though. She's gotten broken so many times that we're not sure how much more she can go through before she finally finds what she's looking for. We dont want to end up with Humpty Dumpty as a friend
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harsh realities
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Dec 4, 2009 11:34 am
1200 Views
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At some point in your life, you will realize that...
... Some friends WILL stab you in the back
... It IS a dog-eat-dog world - you either have to deal or get out
... You work your ass off trying to get to up only to find out that it's lonely up there
... Even the best laid plans have no guarantee of working out
... We neglect too often the people close to our hearts when they are the ones who remain when everybody else has left
... People judge you by the cover, regardless of what they say to the contrary
... Even if you live by the rules, they will still fail you
... People with power who got it the easy way are more likely to abuse it
... We aim for what we want and dont get it while the things we're avoiding turn out to be just what we need
... We become too busy trying to accomplish everything that we think are important that we lose sight of the essentials
... Sometimes, the ones we love the most are the ones we lose for no reason
... And regret is never enough to make things go back to the way they were
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Missing
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Dec 4, 2009 2:21 am
1033 Views
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- a hug
- a friendly wave
- funny conversations
- serious talks with friends
- a relaxing coffee break with my best friends
- warm greetings
- peace
- prayers
- spa sessions
- Someone.
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Goldilocks
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Nov 30, 2009 2:39 am
1015 Views
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Do you remember the story of Goldilocks and the three bears? It's one of the stories I loved most as a child. The thought of this precocious little girl daring to explore an unknown house was intriguing and interesting for me .
Anyway, the story tells us that Goldilocks got lost in the forest one day and stumbled upon a strange cottage. She went in and saw three bowls of porridge on the table - one was too hot, the next was too cold, but she eventually found one that was just right.
Next, she went into the living room and tried out the chairs - the first ones she tried were too big, but she soon tried one that was just right and settled there. Finally, she looked at the bedrooms and looked for a bed where she could rest comfortably in. The first one she tried was too hard, and the next one was too soft. But she pushed on until she found one that was just right.
I think we all go through that stage in our lives - wandering in a forest we're not familiar with, just feeling our way around, and managing to survive on instincts.
During our journey, we meet different kinds of people, some may be too old for us, some too young; some may be too brainy, some too dull to spend time with; some may be too talkative that we get tired of their company, some too quiet that we can't get a conversation started; some may be too nice that we feel bored with them, some a little too harsh for comfort.
All these misfits and trial and error get to be tiring after a while. But why do we still go on? Because we cling to the hope that someday, we will find someone who fits us "just right"... 
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Too old for infatuation
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Nov 24, 2009 7:48 pm
1144 Views
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I haven't had a real crush in years, probably since I left my teenage years behind, along with the clumsiness, the self-doubts, and the pimples
And I didn't expect to have one at this age of supposed maturity, when I should have known better. I mean, I do admire certain celebrities, but I think that's different than having a real honest-to-goodness infatuation with a regular guy.
According to Wikipedia, infatuation is
the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love; addictive love. Usually, one is inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone. It is a common emotion characterized by unrealistic expectations of blissful passion without positive relationship growth or development. Infatuation is distinguished by a lack of trust, loyalty, commitment, and/or reciprocity. In the case of infatuation, there is more often than not an obsessor and an object of desire, who may or may not be attainable.
Hmmm... doesn't sound nice, does it? That's why I thought I've outgrown this kind of foolishness already. But it seems that I haven't. "Cause I HAVE A CRUSH.
I do know that this would go nowhere. We've known each other for about 5 years now, and we've remained just friends. There was always the chemistry between us - we enjoy each other's company and have a good laugh together, sometimes at the other's expense .We only see each other once or twice a year, since he works abroad. But we make it a point to meet whenever he goes home for a vacation. I consider him a good friend, and I'd like to believe it's mutual.
But that's all there is to it. There was never anything romantic between us - until now, on my side that is. For some reason, when we met up recently, I felt different. It was like seeing him in a new light. I saw the same person, but in a different perspective. I started to appreciate him as a man, not just as a good friend. And I noticed how cute he was, how warm his smile was, and how other girls looked at him as we passed by .
I know that Im probably setting myself up for a trap that would close around me in the future, probably as soon as he leaves to go back to work in a few weeks. I might get hurt a bit, and miss him a hell of a lot more than I used to, especially since he's not the communicative type and rarely gets in touch when he's away. But I can't help it. As Wikipedia accurately described, it's irrational.
And I must admit that I missed this giddy, giggly feeling . It's like being a pimply teenage schoolgirl again.
And I do feel inspired... 
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on the flip side
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Nov 22, 2009 8:26 pm
1140 Views
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I believe in the existence of fairies, dragons, phoenixes, good men, and other mythical creatures
(hahaha) 
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What would it take to fall in love again?
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Nov 21, 2009 3:19 am
1199 Views
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Contrary to what most of my friends think, I DO want to fall in love again. I AM looking for the real thing. Work is NOT the be-all and end-all for me.
Part of what they say is true, though. I'm scared of making another wrong choice and getting badly hurt again. There's no use denying that - the people who know me well can still see the scars. Of course Im scared. But I also realize that, like , everything else, loving has its risks, as well as rewards. And the rewards make the risks worth taking  .
So why haven't I fallen in love again yet? It's been more than a year since my last relationship and I haven't even gone on any serious getting-to-know-a-potential-partner dates yet.
To be honest, I haven't really exerted any effort to be in one, because I thought that one shouldn't have to work so hard to find "The One" or for a relationship to start. I believe that if something is meant to happen, it will, regardless of the odds. I guess I'm a sucker for all that destiny crap, after all .
So what, then, would it take for me to fall in love again? I think it would be the combination of the right timing, right circumstances, and of course, the right person. All I need is a little more patience...
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5
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VOICELESS...
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Nov 19, 2009 2:17 am
1265 Views
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... But never Speechless! Hehe
My health is starting to suffer from all the late nights and the full-speed working pace
I really love what I do, and I want to keep on going, but my body is telling me to put on the brakes.
I guess I have to. It would be quite difficult for me to do my job when my voice went AWOL
Oh well... It's a classic case of the mind being willing, but the body is not
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