this is me
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Sep 10, 2009 6:48 pm
5670 Views
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I laughed,
I cried.
I believed,
I lied.
I fought,
I won.
I lost,
I gained.
I loved,
I hated.
I left,
I returned.
I risked,
I got burned.
I took,
I gave.
I wasted,
I saved.
I held on,
I let go.
I flew high,
I fell down low.
I created,
I destroyed.
I listened,
I was heard.
I hurt,
I healed.
But most of all,
I LIVED.
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6
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Define "Dating"
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Jun 2, 2011 7:29 pm
1374 Views
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This has been an ongoing debate between me and my friends.
My friends tell me that a "date" is any kind of get-together - it can be among friends (friendly date), among "barkadas" (group date), even for families (family date).
Another friend says that as long as you are dining out, that's already a date. If you're just going out and do some activity together, like play bowling or badminton but you don't dine out - then that's not a date, even if it's just the two of you together.
Well, as for me, a date is a getting-to-know you activity for two people who are interested in each other as more than friends. Kinda like feeling out a potential partner, looking for similar points of interests before deciding whether to move forward or back-out.
In short, "dating" for me always has a romantic connotation. And it has to be specifically declared a "date", for it to be considered one.
If it wasn't called a date to begin with, then it's just a simple hanging-out with a friend, even if it's just the two of you.
But what is it, really?
Is there really such a thing as "friendly date"? And if so, is there a difference between "date" and "gimik" or hanging-out?
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5
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Bull's Eye!
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May 24, 2011 4:02 am
1228 Views
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I suddenly realized that it's been a while since I last posted here.
It's been a busy month for me, in terms of my social life  . And I must say, I am having sooo much fun!
After my interest in travel waned, I had more time to mingle with friends - old and new. And found, to my delight, that there's so much out there that I can and would like to do!
Talking to people is one of them. I used to be so anti-social, having a hard time opening up conversation with strangers. But after a few hesitant tries, to which those people have responded warmly to, I find it so easy to approach people now.
I have discovered that all it takes to talk to someone is a simple "hello". It works wonders, believe me. 
Anyway, last weekend, I went with a newfound friend to a shooting range which he's been telling me about. I wasn't interested in target shooting before, but after he described it to me, I got curious and wanted to give it a try. Fortunately, my new friend was willing to take me there.
So off we went. I asked for the lightest pistol they had ('cause I was afraid I wouldnt be able to handle the recoil of a heavy gun), and they gave me a .45 caliber pistol.
One of the staff assisted me and taught me the basics - how to handle the gun, the proper stance, how to take aim, and how to pull the trigger properly. So after a few tries with a blank magazine, he declared me ready.
As he inserted the loaded magazine into the pistol, I could feel my heart start beating faster. I tried to calm myself a bit, 'cause I know my erratic pulse would affect my aim.
Inhale. Exhale.
Inhale. Exhale.
Inhale. Exhale.
Okay, Im ready.
So I aimed. Took the proper stance. CLicked the safety button down.
Then I fired.
And I hit the bull's eye.
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4
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The Romeo and Juliet Story of our time
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May 3, 2011 9:22 pm
1544 Views
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While the whole world had its eyes on Prince William and Kate Middleton, their wedding made me recall the love story of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles. 
Their story makes me wanna keep believing that true love still exists, that's it's not just some stuff fairy tales are made of.
And to be perfectly honest, their story made me real envious.
Of course, we all know the tragedy involved in their story. Camilla married someone else when Charles went abroad as part of his military duties. Prince Charles married Lady Diana Spencer and had two sons. Prince Charles and Camilla committed adultery. Camilla got divorced, then Prince Charles followed suit a year later.
Tragedy all around, capped with Princess Diana's death in a violent and controversial car accident.
Of course I don't condone the whole adultery thing. It was in bad taste, regardless how you look at it. But that aside, this couple's love has survived time (think 3 decades), trials, intrigue, social standards, controversy, ridicule, public spite and censure, and even family outrage. Dare we still question their devotion, sincerity and the strength of their love for each other?
Like Romeo and Juliet before them, Prince Charles' family was a big factor for the mistakes that eventually happened. Camilla was deemed unfit for a prince not only because she was a commoner, but also because she was 16 months older than the prince and was not "virginal", which apparently was a big requirement for a royal bride. The young prince allowed himself to be dissuaded and probably broke his true love's heart because of it 
Fast forward to more than 30 years later. They are both single, albeit with their own parental responsibilities, not to mention the same obstacles that challenged them 30 years ago. But now they are wiser, stronger, and more capable of defending their love for each other.
Let's admit it, even at his age, Prince Charles, with all his wealth, power and rank, could marry a much younger and attractive woman and have more children with her, if he so wished. But he didn't. He chose to marry a wrinkled 57-yr-old woman who he has loved since he was in his teens. He chose to validate his love for Camilla with a marriage that showed the whole world what true love is and how it should be.
In my book, that makes him a truly noble man. We should all be taking lessons from him.
This is not to take away from the romance of Prince William and Kate Middleton. True, their love story also qualifies as a modern-day fairy tale : ordinary girl marries the prince - literally. But theirs will never beat Prince Charles' and Camilla's story.
This almost comes at par with the story of King Edward VIII and divorcee Wallis Simpson, just beaten by the fact that King Edwards VIII gave up the throne in order to be able to keep his love. His abdication speech still moves me to tears , this line in particular :
I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility and to discharge my duties as King as I would wish to do without the help and support of the woman I love.
* Britain's Poet Laureate Andrew Motion has written "Spring Wedding," a poem commemorating the marriage of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles:
I took your news outdoors, and strolled a while
In silence on my square of garden-ground
Where I could dim the roar of arguments,
Ignore the scandal-flywheel whirring round,
And hear instead the green fuse in the flower
Ignite, the breeze stretch out a shadow-hand
To ruffle blossom on its sticking points,
The blackbirds sing, and singing take their stand.
I took your news outdoors, and found the Spring
Had honored all its promises to start
Disclosing how the principles of earth
Can make a common purpose with the heart.
The heart which slips and sidles like a stream
Weighed down by winter-wreckage near its source --
But given time, and come the clearing rain,
Breaks loose to revel in its proper course.
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3
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Mission Accomplished
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Apr 29, 2011 9:46 pm
1324 Views
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I have finally gotten myself a DSLR camera!
Thanks to my good friend who sold me his 1-yr-old, barely used set (cause he immediately upgraded to a higher model, lucky me  ) - and has given me a 12-month payment scheme!
Thank God for generous friends 
So last Holy Week break, I took my camera with me to the family reunion in the province. In between photo sessions, I learned how to play badminton, volleyball and poker.
I also experimented with a rounded crochet project, and it turned out quite well, if I may say so. If you look closely at these photos, you'll see my half-done crochet pouch in one of the frames
Quite a productive Holy Week, that was
And here are some of my practice shots...
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4
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Old flame
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Apr 18, 2011 3:42 am
1500 Views
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I received a surprising phone call last Friday.
An old flame from my past was able to track down my number through common friends who first found me in a social networking site last year. It's been 12 years, more or less, since we talked. A lot has changed, but some things remained the same.
He was still the flirty guy I remembered, and he made me feel like that awkward teenager out on her first date again. Yes, he was my first date, ever. I really was awkward, and as he said, obviously nervous every time we went out. To think that I never went out with him alone... we always had my two friends as chaperones (one was his cousin, the other was his cousin's girl, both of whom used to work in the same company as I did - that's how we met). 
Yeah, that was an awkward phase. To my credit, he was 10 years older than me, so he really did make me feel self-conscious. In my eyes, he was this uber confident, self-assured yuppie who always knew the right thing to say, who always had the right moves, who always made me feel butterflies in my stomach.
Unfortunately, we were never officially together. He was too intense for a nerve-racked girl like me. I felt like he was always around me, and I felt suffocated and a bit manipulated. So I ran away. Somehow, we lost touch.
Fast forward to 12 years later. He called me and reconnected after all those years. He was teasing, flirting, sweet. He said he suddenly missed me again and can't wait for us to meet. And that he'll hug me tightly and kiss me as he was never able to do so all those years ago  .
BUT... he's already married, though he says they've now been separated for a few years. And they have one daughter.
So now I'm undecided if I'll still go meet with him. His cousin, who has been egging me on ever since, says that he has never forgotten me, and that he and his wife have been estranged for quite some time.
But they're still married, right? What if there's still a chance of them getting back together? I don't want to be the one standing in the way of that happening, especially since they have a daughter.
He called me again today to ask when we'll be seeing each other. I still haven't decided what to do...
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4
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Escaping death
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Apr 12, 2011 3:20 am
1552 Views
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I was in a road accident last Saturday.
I had joined a tour group to Calaguas and We were on our way to Daet, Camarines Norte when the bus crashed into a pole and fell into a ravine. The bus turned on the right side, hovered a bit on some edge, then continued to fall sideways.
Inside, we were thrown all over each other, the seats, and our luggages. When the bus came to a stop, we were all still for a few seconds, unsure of whether it was safe to move or not. It was around 4am, and it was too dark for us to see where we were falling into and how deep it was, so it was a really scary moment.
At that point, I was literally ready to die. The first few thoughts that entered my head were :
1- I wondered how they're going to bring my body back to Manila after the accident;
2 - I was glad that I had paid on time for my 2 life insurance policies. At least my mom wouldn't have a hard time paying for the burial costs; and
3 - I wonder if my friend, who I had pressured to go with me on that trip, would blame me for putting her in that position. I hoped not.
Then the tour organizers (who were with us on the bus), shouted and told us to keep off the windows 'cause they might shatter from the weight. Almost everybody and everything were piled up on the right side windows after the fall, so we had to scramble away from it.
The people started shouting the names of the others in their group and when everybody was accounted for, we started untangling ourselves. Some locals went to help us with strong flashlights and guided us down the bus.
I learned later that two people were thrown off the bus through a shattered window during the fall. Had our bus turned over one more time, they would have been surely crushed.
As it was, we were really really lucky. A coconut tree had broken our fall, plus the electrical cables from the post we crashed into had gotten tangled in the wheels and also served to stop the bus from hurtling down, so the impact of the fall was cushioned a bit.
Aside from the cuts and bruises from shattered glass, and the aching muscles from beig thrown all over, the whole group came out of the experience alive and whole.
Unfortunately, I cant say the same thing about our luggage. I lost my valuables during the rescue. My bag was handed back to me, minus my wallet, camera, and cellphone. It was a bit disheartening to still be a victim of theft on top of everything that happened, but keeping priorities straight, we were all still glad to be able to walk out there on our own two feet.
They say that your life flashes before you in a near-death experience. I didn't have any of that. I didnt have any regrets, nor did I wish for more time. So I guess I can truly say that I am ready to go, anytime. Not that I'm wishing for it, 'cause I still love living.
But if it does happen, I am ready. I just hope that when that time comes, it will be a quick and painless one. 
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5
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New Hobby, New Me
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Apr 5, 2011 8:38 pm
1630 Views
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As I've mentioned in my previous blog entries, I have been feeling a little bored lately. I actually considered taking a sabbatical at work, but found out that the company does not offer that option
I have my crochet, but it's keeping me indoors, and there's something wrong about staying indoors during summer, don't you think? So I have been on the look-out for something different, even something that's beyond my comfort zone as long as it sparks my interest.
Then I joined an EB from a forum I've been following the past couple of years. It was an EB for singles who are in their 30s (and proud of it ). I decided to go 'cause I thought it was a good opportunity to expand my world and get to meet like-minded people. Since we're about the same age as well, I knew we wouldn't run out of things to talk about. We all went through the same rallies, changes of government, and same typhoons anyway
True enough, I had so much fun! There were only about 10 of us 'cause a lot of people had to back out at the last minute, but it actually turned out to be a good thing 'cause we got a chance to really get to know everyone in the group. Dinner + a few drinks + coffee later, we all felt like we've known everyone for a long time already.
So now I've got a few new friends who share the same thoughts, ideas, and like the same things. It's easier to come up with new activities for the summer
Then yesterday, I got my very first DSLR camera. I've been on the look-out for some time already, and a friend finally sold me his barely used unit with extra zoom lens. I did some test shots at home last night, and had so much fun!
I had a bit of a headache from looking through the viewfinder, but I'll get used to it eventually. I hope I can develop some real photography skills soon.
So there. It's been quite a week so far, and it's not over yet. I wonder what the next few days will bring...
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5
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Out on a date
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Apr 1, 2011 9:22 pm
1681 Views
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I was supposed to meet a friend last night for dinner, but she suddenly had an emergency at work and had to cancel out on me  .
Darn. Friday night and I have no plans.
Normally, that wouldn't have bothered me, but with the boredom I've been feeling lately, coupled with the recent heart issues, I didn't want to be left alone - on a Friday, of all days  .
Thinking I'll just kill a few hours before heading home, I went to the nearest mall and looked around. Then I passed by a salon with few customers and suddenly had an urge to pamper myself. Who says I can't have a date with myself, right?
So I went in, planning to just have my nails done. Then the assisting girl offered to do my hair, with a trim and a spa. Then I was offered a facial and I thought, what the heck, I'm already here anyway. Good thing I had some cash with me.
Since the whole thing was unplanned, it wasn't part of the budget I had set aside for myself for this period. I worried a bit about that on the way home last night, but then I woke up this morning feeling good about myself and looking forward to the rest of the day. So I guess pampering does work.
I'll just enjoy today and worry about my budget tomorrow.
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6
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Waiting for our roads to meet
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Mar 31, 2011 9:11 pm
1527 Views
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I wonder when I’ll be seeing you
And if I’ll recognize you when I do
Then I wonder, as if on cue,
If you’re as anxious to see me too.
Are you short or tall?
Would we even like the same things at all?
Will you be there when I fall,
And run to my side when I call?
I wonder what you dream of when you’re sleeping
And at this very moment, what are you thinking?
Where are you going and where have you been?
How much of the world you have seen?
Are you pragmatic, cynical, or a dreamer like me?
Are you quiet, somber, or the life of the party?
Oh well, how different can two people be?
But whatever happens, I am ready.
I wonder what you’re like when angry
Or how you handle adversity
And when there’s conflict between you and me,
Will you force your will or let it be?
What type of music do you play?
How do you spend a typical day?
When we meet, what’s the first thing you’d say?
And would we see the world in the same way?
I wonder if we’d met in a previous lifetime –
And if our destinies are intertwined
I wonder when our paths would be aligned
I wonder when I'll be yours and you’ll be mine…
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