Dementia Praecox
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Posted:Sep 24, 2006 4:17 am
Last Updated:Sep 24, 2006 8:59 am 2187 Views
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Come to think of it...
Or maybe I am just suffering from temporary dementia... it wasn't really all sad for me last week during the wake of my Uncle Big and Mommy Camie. There were moments I found funny too. Filipino culture is really rich, especially when burying dead people.
I'm a Christian, therefore, it follows that I do not believe things which to me are fictitious beliefs. The whole week was filled with works of fiction, and well, I just didn't contradict them. I didn't need to because doing so would just offend other people's acceptance of truth.
The following are some of these that I have mentally collected to research on... maybe later.
1. The belief that the soul of the dead visits the relatives on the third day after the burial therefore, ashes must be spread on the doorsteps.During those three days the mourners do not bathe, do not comb their hair, nor sweep the floor. The widow or widower must not go out of the house nor even peep outside the window until the third day after the spouse's burial.
2. Sleeping in the house of the deceased for nine days allegedly prevents another death.
3. The soul of the departed is supposedly still on the earth for forty days after death, will join the relatives after that period of time, and then ascends to heaven on the fortieth day. During those forty days nobody should sing or hum in order not to offend the departed relative.
4. The widow/widower is not allowed to take a bath until after the burial.
5. The floors must not be swept. Instead, candy wrappers and other discarded materials must be picked up.
6. After the dead body is brought outside of the house, glasses must be broken on the floor of the house to prevent another death.
7. During the burial, the widow/widower must be assisted by widows/widowers and must not be allowed to look at someone who is still married. Otherwise, the wife/husband of the one he/she sees first will also die.
There are so many, and there's really no harm in believing, but of course, you have to really contemplate why there are these beliefs. Fictitious? Well, some said not following them can really bring trouble and another death.
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Long Walk In A Short Road
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Posted:Sep 23, 2006 2:39 am
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2006 3:47 pm 2258 Views
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I STARTED today, September 23, very early with a sad face. I didn't sleep any more last night and just waited for 4:00 a.m. to come because I wanted to see my Uncle Big and Mommy Camie for the last time alone -- with no people looking.
Death is not something I find ambiguous. I know that we're just passing in this world, and our journey would eventually end we just don't know when. Morbid? No. It's just affirming the truth. Death is painful because it is true. It's not a lie, and it happens. Even the greatest of all minds cannot deny it with any scientific invention. The fountain of youth that everyone is toiling to find to remain young-looking is just a myth, a pretence, an apologue. It doesn't and cannot stop death. No amount of lyposuction or botox or facial stretching we get done to ourselves can repudiate death. It will come... sometimes, like a friend... sometimes, like an enemy.
Uncle Big and Mommy Camie were both smiling when I saw them. I know they're happy now in Heaven with the Father. I know they're glad because death came to both of them like a dear friend. I didn't know what to say to Uncle Big. There were too many memories to have down pat, and they all wanted to be first in line. And that's weird because like him, I'm always in order and organized in thoughts even when I am crying.
My special attachment with Uncle Big is that we both like books, and writing is our passion. We often discuss events, and we often laugh at funny political circumstances that habitually degrade the country's standing in terms of economy compared to other countries. And because I edit a newspaper, he would frequently call me so he can give me his opinions about news stories that he felt I should consider based on a perspective that we have both discussed well. Eventually, this would be the content of my editorial for the week. There were many times that it was almost a prerequisite for me to go and see him whenever I am on an editorial that I felt was still lacking substance. He would guide me through it until I get the point that I wanted correctly.
Uncle Big was also Daddy Big to the broadcast journalists who were his wards when he was still doing "Straight Shooter" over DYMS and DYSP Super Radyo here in Palawan. In his Homegoing Service last night, they all gave their testimonials about how a great mentor he was. He was indeed.
He had been laid to rest this afternoon with Mommy Camie. The road to the new cemetery is only a short distance from where our compound is located, but walking it with both of them for the last time was like 10,000 miles for me, my aunt, and the rest in the family. Time was slow and tedious, and Heaven is still crying. Somebody said it's a blessing, and I believe him.
I wrote my Uncle Big's epitaph, and I was glad my Aunt let me.
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Non-Aligned to I'm Neutral, I Disagree & I Agree
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Posted:Sep 20, 2006 1:59 am
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2006 3:48 pm 2252 Views
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I HAVE been thinking...
Well, I've been giving some really, really wild thoughts to the whole idea of writing a book as of late (I've also been giving some thought to winning the Bingo Extravaganza, and well it hasn't got me anywhere -- not even a step closer to where it is here in my City  ) and it came to me while I was playing Monopoly in my Uncle Big's wake last night that if I were to ever write one (which ain't gonna happen just yet, but let's just say for the sake of reason) I would bill myself as the anti-Francis Mayes.
Phew, now, before I start getting stale tomatoes and gooey blue berry pies (a blue berry pie isn't bad at all!!!) all over me from her avid readers, "anti" doesn't mean I have anything against her personally. After all, she's an accomplished cook having created a number of wonderful recipes (who wouldn't like food?), and I did read one of her books, Under the Tuscan Sun (which I personally found so-so). I'm sure she's a nice lady (although she admitted she didn't like tiramisu, which proves that she is clearly from a different universe). Whoa, I am not trashing her. My goodness, no. I'm just underlining the fundamental differences between us.
Primarily, we both can write. However, she has published many books where as I, have yet to see the light of day on that. She can cook, and I can too, but I'm sure mine won't stand even a bit of chance against her if you put our culinary arts side by side on a table  Hahahha!
So, I was thinking that instead of a book (as of yet) maybe I would just jot down life in FFF as I see it from time to time and see where that gets me here in the Blog. What about "Pinay's Views" for a title  But then that would require another Blog -- and I'm sufficient and happy with this one. The tricky thing with views is that you can never seem to get a perfect one, can you? Sometimes you are graced with a good look of the ocean, but then again, there is a big power line out there, or somebody's underwear hanging out to dry destractng your best view. There’s always something.
Likewise, I may have a skewed picture of things sometimes, I may not see the forest for the trees, I may be completely lost in a haze of mist, but it will still be what I see from my vantage point, honestly reported, really lived.
FIRST OBSERVATION: Recently, I've been active in the Magazine posting my replies to questions which to me are very good if not excellent. I can count the number of active contributors using my fingers, and their number won't match to that of the "I Agree" and "I Disagree" votes we are sometimes getting.
It isn't hard to realize that there are probably silent voters, but I feel sad for the others whose responses are good but still get many "I Disagree" votes. I don't understand this, and I find this rather funny, really. Even the expressions like "Ah, hmmmm, ohs" get "I Disagree" votes.
There have been complaints, and someone did say they've already called the attention of the FFF management, but the "I Disagree" votes continue to flood.
Me thinks that there are really people out there who only wants to read what to them are pleasing. Even if the other responses suggest the best thing to do, they disagree because they do not want to even place them on their papers as one of the favorable choices they can utilize whenever they get into personal trouble. And since you're only providing them choices, you have no right to shove it down their throats because that is not how things go. "Live and let live" is still one of the most favorite lines when it comes to living one's own life.
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You Have An Attitude, And It Reeks
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Posted:Sep 16, 2006 11:14 pm
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2006 2:15 am 2210 Views
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A winning attitude is being a good sport. People who always brag about winning don't have a winning attitude. Not all people have a winning attitude. Although a lot do.
When you play a game and a person always says that he/she is going to win, he/she doesn't have a winning attitude. When you are playing a game with somebody and both of you play fair, then you both have winning attitudes. A winning attitude helps a lot in games.
Some people only care about winning. That's not a winning attitude. When you play a game and the other person loses, if he/she is all upset and angry, he/she should not play because he/she doesn't have a winning attitude. Sometimes people like to cheat just to win a game. When half of the time the person who cheated ends up losing. Then they look bad because they lost even though they cheated. So, don't cheat, cheaters never win. Always play fair.
When you play a game don't be rude to the other player(s). And don't be rude to your own teammates. If you play a game like basketball, don't be a ballhog and not pass the ball to anyone else. Share the ball and let the team win the game, don't win the game for the team. Just one person can't win the whole game by himself/herself. It takes a whole team to win. Teamwork is what makes the team, and what gives you, and the rest of the team a winning attitude.
All of these factors are important to have a winning attitude. Even when you lose a game you still need a winning attitude. After the game go shake hands with the other team. Say good game or good job. If you or somebody you know gets all mad or upset if they lose a game tell them that they don't have a winning attitude.
Even if you have a winning attitude encourage others to have one too. The more winning attitudes, the more winners, or example; After a baseball game you don't see the baseball players yelling or screaming at each other. They all walk out on the field and shake hands and say good game.
Remember, even if you win or lose, you should always have a winning attitude.
I wish my friend could read this now because she needs to realize that the reason why she lost last night in our all-female organization's election for presidency was because she doesn't have a winning attitude.
If she has a disability, it's her bad attitude towards losing, and it reeks. Everyone doesn't like it. No matter how good a leader she is, if it's always about her and not us, we're not going to make it as a team. She's not going to be president ever if she continues to be full of negative attitudes.
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I Say Marco, You Say Polo
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Posted:Sep 15, 2006 10:42 pm
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2006 2:33 am 2143 Views
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There are times when I couldn't really understand you. And I always tell you that I need to understand because if I don't that would mean I do not know you at all. That would mean you're a stranger to me, and you know I don't like that feeling because it doesn't become me at all.
We always miss each other's point, yet I cannot deny the fact that you have gotten close to me. So close that it would be difficult to get you out of my elements. I seldom allow just any man to get near me because I know it's extremely hard to untangle the moment things do not turn out to be what I expect them to be.
The moment I met you, there's that something in you that makes you unique from the rest. I love your humor, I warm up to some of your ideas no matter how crazy they are to me, and for a long time, it's only with you now that I did not attempt to raise any points where we would argue because I don't want to mess the beauty of knowing this relationship no matter how we choose to call it at present.
So why are you choosing to be difficult now. I say Marco, and you say Polo as soon as possible without thinking about what you're going to say. Are you intentionally doing this because you're testing me? Are you trying to prove anything to yourself about me?
Why?
And why is the word that I always don't want to ask.
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Sadness Inspires Me
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Posted:Sep 15, 2006 7:07 am
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2006 7:10 am 2149 Views
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Sadness inspires me.
Quill is my shame.
The ink I spilled is remorse.
My sand is love
Soaking my remorse
To feel
Allowing me to feel.
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Red Shirt Day & Coal Black Wednesday
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Posted:Sep 13, 2006 7:49 am
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2006 2:29 am 2264 Views
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"It is foolish to be afraid of death. JUST THINK!!! No more repaired tires on the body vehicle, no more patchwork living." -- Paramhansa Yogananda
The time now, 10:46 p.m., (while I am writing this) feels like all water have left my body. My eyes are swollen from crying since this morning, and my whole being feels numb -- unable to feel any sensation other than crying -- like thousands upon thousands of microscopic needles are pricking it.
Two deaths in the family in a week, one last Saturday and my Uncle Big today, who would be functioning properly? And I intentionally wore my red polo shirt this morning because I wanted to be happy despite the sadness of Mommy Camie's passing away. It's a statement that I wanted to say out loud. An avowal that I am waging war against any more sadness, and I would fight any for my Aunt who lost her mother and now her husband, MY UNCLE, MY MOM'S BROTHER, MY SECOND FATHER. We're a "knit one, purl one" sort of family. The pain of one is the pain of all. The tears of one are the tears of all.
Uncle Big is my mom's only living brother until his death this morning. The rest: Manong Pablo, Tatay Pereg, Manang Virgie, and Manang Patring, had left to be with God a long time ago. It's now just my mom, and I feel sad for her, especially for my Aunt. You know how it feels like when two most important people in your family die? How do you even begin to comfort her? What would one say to ease her pain a little? A pain that you also feel?
Two days ago, when I went to the wake of Mommy Camie just in the neighborhood, Uncle Big called me to complain that his back is throbbing. He was grimacing and I can tell he wasn't really feeling well. I manipulated a gentle massage on him, and just soothed his back with my hands until he fell asleep. Then I told my Aunt I was going home as I wanted to pray for him. Yesterday, before his regular dialysis (he had kidney trouble), I visited him and asked about his back. He said he's already okay, and he even complemented me for my massage. In the afternoon when I got home, I was told he was admitted to the Palawan Adventist Hospital because he had difficulty breathing. Knowing Uncle Big, he would fight whatever it was that's causing him discomfort. But he had already told everyone he already felt TIRED. That tiredness was the last complaint we would be hearing from him.
This morning, just before 10:00 a.m., while I was chatting with my Aunt to inspire and encourage her to be positive, and in front of us is the coffin of Mommy Camie, the call came from the hospital from my cousin Jiboy. Uncle Big had really given up being tired.
None of us in the family is really that afraid of death. But it doesn't mean that there is no grieving process for us. Recovery is always slow and a painful one, but I am proud of my family because most of us are Christians, and for us, there is an understanding that loss and grief is a natural part of life. We have learned together to accept our losses and believe in ourselves. That this experience will be a psycological growth process for all of us so we'd be able to deal with more stressful events in the future.
I wore red today. The day I first stood in the middle of so many caskets to help my Aunt choose one for my Uncle. My breakfast, lunch and dinner were a stick of banana cue, a bottle of Absolute mineral water, and two coffee-mint candies.
At #101 Roxas Street, Puerto Princesa City, Palawan 5300, there are two coffins -- one of my Mommy Camie, and the other one of my Uncle Big.
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Cut The Fat And You Kill The Burger
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Posted:Sep 12, 2006 9:19 am
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2006 6:08 pm 2195 Views
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I'm quoting Danny Glover here in Lethal Weapon II. His line pretty much describes what my friend M is right now. And I wish I can go and see her, but she's far and she only communicates with me by sending me text messages in the wee hours of the morning, and I know she's really disturbed.
M is confused. She had an argument with F, and one thing led to another. She said he hit her again, and this time, it was serious. She broke her arm and has a wound on her lower lip.
This isn't the first time that F whacked her. It's actually the fourth time. The first time was when she scolded him for not getting home as soon as possible when their baby boy was ill. She had sent him then countless text messages informing him that she had rushed their baby to the hospital. But there was no reply from him. She found out later that he was with his friends on a drinking spree, and his mobile phone was on silent mode.
Every time M and F fight, M leaves the house because F would always refuse to talk to her. She felt like a rag. "Always being taken for granted," she said. She'd go away, and the longest would be three days and then she'll go back to him because she said she loves him so much.
If they had only argued, I wouldn't advice her to really separate with F. But what kind of a man would hurt a helpless woman? He said M is a nag -- always complaining and all of that. But F is so irresponsible, and I wonder if he has looked in the mirror lately to see what's really wrong with him. He's already beyond adolescent age, and yet he acts like a spoiled brat.
This morning at about 3:00 a.m., M sent me a text message. I wish I could go to her and comfort her to ease the pain that she's feeling. She said she's in a hospital having her broken arm and the wound on her lip treated. Too bad we're several provinces away from each other She's with her cousin. This is why I wish for an ability to fly -- so that I can see my friends any time when they are in trouble.
I've met M as a smart woman when she was still living here in Puerto Princesa. We're so much alike. Our interests gel, and we talk about a lot of things -- our views in life, what we want to become, down to the silliest things. When she left, we promised to maintain communication wherever we may be. One day, two years ago, she just surprised me with an announcement that she's pregnant and getting married. I was happy for her. It was her dream to have a family, and she will finally get it.
None of us expected that her married life would be like this. But M swears the moon and the stars that she loves F no matter what. No amount of broken bones, or blacks and blues can make her leave F. She loves him, she said, and she makes me mad. M said she would die if she leaves F or otherwise. I don't understand this at all. I told her she has a "battered wife syndrome" and she doesn't believe me. Her parents tell her the same, and she doesn't believe them either.
I know what love is, but every time it's about her, I get confused. What kind of love does she have for F? She's so obsessed.
And I can't get to her immediately to help her. This makes me sad all the more because I know she's badly hurt again.
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