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Hatred
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Dec 25, 2011 10:01 am
564 Views
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I will always be thankful to you. No matter what.
Even if I am hurting as I am hurting right now, still I will say thank you. I was happy for my 3 years stay within your radar. You have made me a happy girl even for such a short period of time, and even if we were just good friends.
Whether it was me alone who made this friendship a special one, it didn't matter to me anymore. All I want right now, is for us to have both peace of mind and if being apart is the only mean to have that, then I am asking fate to grant us peace.
Don't think, you are not important to me anymore. You still are. It's still your name my heart keeps on screaming at night and even if I am wide awake. There is no doubt about it. But being together will lead us to nowhere. Being with you or not will cause me a great pain, no matter what I choose. You will hurt me just the same. Staying will never make me happy too. I know that now, I even knew it before I was only afraid to realize that there is no other way around.
Take your step so far from me, just like what you were doing for the past weeks, I will try to keep mine too. And this time, I will use your great wall of pride towards me against my longing to be with you again. My heart will cry out after weeks and weeks of being distant from each other, but it will understand this time. I have given it so much joy for the past years, and akala ko wala na akong pride. But, I was so wrong. Maybe it wasn't pride that holding me up, maybe it is reality that my happiness is simply hurting me so bad I do not know how to move along.
I ask Him, for me to let you go and my longing must not sweep me off my feet again. And do your part, hate me as you have loathed me for weeks. Despise me for it's your anger will push me away.
I dare not feel any remorse or misery, and maybe I am too numb to feel anything. And let's forget each other, treat me as if I am just a trash and things will be the way I want it to be.
Yung hindi ko na maalala kung ano ka sa akin...
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