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 | indeed! sometimes in the midst of trying to define someone we erred on making false assumptions by just the virtue of reading what they posted or in manner their share their engaging thoughts in the chatroom.
do we have the right to make assumptions of others without having thoroughly knowing who they are? at what point do we know someone anyway? would it be enough that by conversing with someone on the chatroom - viola! we certainly know how they are or who they are and what they are.
its hard to validate assumptions specially giving in a timeframe that is to irrational and only based on gut feelings. perhaps was given at a point when somehow unknowingly you have offended someone, bruised their ego or unintentionally invaded their space or at a point wherein you are not in the best of mood. regardless there is nothing wrong with providing assumption and yet there is also nothing wrong in refuting the fallacy of assumption. would i refute assumption? i would not. the burden of truly knowing me is on them. they must on the course of their lives must know me extensively if they want me to be a part of their lives.
be as it may, some of us becomes victim of a false assumption and suddenly most become convinced because of that false assumption that you are indeed such and such without them actually knowing you in an extended period of time.
they said that i have a high regard of myself and that nakarating lang ako sa america ay kung sino na ako. everyone must have a high regard of themselves. by mostly having that, its the foundation of having a healthy life and then acquiring an excellent perspective of life. but to assume that someone only having a high regard of themselves because of where they are or have been or dahil nakarating sa america is making a mockery of one's insecurity.
none of us has the purity of values and therefore assumptions are sometimes false and never right specially given at a point that one never was closed to you or have been intimate with us.
i was not offended by the assumptions accorded on my behalf, after all eveyone has the right to make assumptions and even share it with many. but to others it could be dismaying experience to the point that to them it becomes a nightmare because they have been ill defined by virtue of that assumptions. but no one could ever define us except ourselves. and if you have a high regard of yourself, then nothing matters including false assumption. |
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would you marry mother's ex?
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Apr 18, 2012 11:54 am
329 Views
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DEAR EMILY,
I am a 43-year-old single mom to an eight-year-old daughter. My husband died eight years ago, before our daughter’s birth, and we’ve been living with my parents since. I am working as a school nurse and my salary is really not enough for us.
My problem started when I met an 82-year-old divorced American guy who was introduced to me by a friend. She said this guy wanted to meet me, but she warned me that he is old enough to be my father.
When we finally talked, I found him interesting, with a sense of humor, and clearly old. When he proposed, I readily said yes. I thought about the future of my child, as well as a comfortable life for my parents.
While we were talking, he said he was going to tell me something he didn’t want to hide from me before our relationship deepened. He confessed that he was my mother’s former boyfriend! I got cold sweat and was dizzy for a while, and when I came around, I asked him what went wrong.
He said my grandmother didn’t approve of him then because he was a drunkard and a womanizer. My mother married a businessman instead, who is my dad.
I will be getting my fiancée’s visa in eight months, and I don’t know how to tell my mother about him. I am now worried about the future of my daughter.
—BURDENED
Do you need money that badly to be getting married to this old guy?
Your mother must be around your boyfriend’s age by now. Ask her if she ever met this certain American. Then let her re-live what she remembers of him. Could her memory of him still be lucid, you think? If she recalls their time together with passion, tread slowly and ask how she feels about him now. But if she sounds ambivalent, go for it and tell her. The shortest distance between two points is still a straight line. Tell her exactly what your plans with him are.
How sure are you that your future and your daughter’s will be secure with your marriage to this old guy? Since he must know that you are not coming in for the sexual experience, is he comfortable to be your sugar daddy? Has he stashed away enough cash to give you two a life of comfort?
You are a nurse, and you must know how comforting and attractive that is to an 82-year-old man. Face it—imagine home care! He may not look his age, but how long before parts of him start breaking down? Are you prepared to give him the care he will need? Will you have the devotion he will be expecting from this marriage? Do you have the patience and stamina for a long and saintly haul?
Your situation looks surmountable on paper because your case is clearly not unique or unheard of—a young girl getting married to an old man. But, is your mind prepared to go through life with him, in spite of the money? And what if he still carries a torch for your mother and actually wants to get to her through you—what now?
Are you sure you’ve tried every available means to get a better job? Remember the saying, “from the frying pan into the fire?” Or the Filipino saying, “nasa banig na, pumunta pa sa sahig?”
Long story short: things may not turn out as rosy as you dream them to be.
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11
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you just dont get it!
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Apr 18, 2012 6:04 am
255 Views
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you just don't get it is a polite way of saying no.
you just don't get it, stop stalking me - i don't love you anymore.
you just don't get it, i was really not into you.
you just don't get it, i thought it would work. but its really different in the flesh than in the cam. i am quite disappointed. please move on.
you just don't ge it, you don't belong to the crowd, find yourself another crowd or group.
you just don't get it, it was great until you became demanding and controlling. i was wrong, i thought i could still love you inspite of your changing attitudes. where was that beautiful woman i feel in love with? you are totally different now.
you just don't get it, you are deceitful.
you just don't get it, manila is too distant.
yes there are many ways to say you just don't get it.
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1
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unmolested and virgin!
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Apr 17, 2012 2:02 pm
255 Views
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i am always looking for a good read. meaning a blog that invite reactions from my thoughts.
there are still plenty of those around.
sometimes by virtue of that reaction i could easily compose a blog.
but then i am selective now. i only read those blogs that i know the author would evoke reaction from me - if they been around blogging.
but there are those who have been around blogging that i choose not to read. my instinct tells me that there is animosity in that blog! or in short, it is a bad vibes blog.
but for the new bloggers, they give me a refreshing appreciation of their thoughts - pristine, unmolested, virgin and not "groupie influenced"
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1
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i bet you would be!
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Apr 17, 2012 6:11 am
255 Views
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others said they are happy being single and there is no rush in having a relationship even they are already in late 30s, even in their 40s and 50s.
others truly claim being blessed in singleness because they can do everything they want without someone interfering or have to ask permission from.
besides why would they need a relationship for, they have everything including success in careers and other pursuits.
would you not be blessed more if along with your successes, you have someone sharing it with other than your blood relatives?
i bet you would be!
material success and others successes that can me measured in tangible terms is no way more profound and meaningful than having experience a loving relationship - or being in a loving relationship.
or being blessed in singleness is a statement of alibi for failure to connect?
but i agree, we should live our lives in our terms.
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2
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repost of my arrogance!
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Apr 16, 2012 2:04 pm
255 Views
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lack of exclusivity!
Aug 18, 2008 8:33 pm
1126 Views
in our pursuit of a lot of things, do we categorized everything in the degree of importance? which is of most importance and of minor importance.
how about now? where is blogging in the hierarchy (sp?) of importance? and then what is your take about blogging and sharing your thoughts and reading other thoughts; and then if you frequently visit the chatrooms and linger their for a long time or more than necessary, what purpose does it serve to chat?
sometimes it makes me wonder if blogging and chatting are really the best use of our time? in my case, could i really be found here or there (chatroom) since it was obviously the primary reason i started blogging and chat - to let them know that i wanted to be found.
but at least in blogging i am deeper in my thoughts. but in the chatroom, its of a different dimensions. i find the chatroom as mostly too shallow and not really engaging (sometimes it is but very seldom) - that its hard to believe that anyone is connecting with someone. maybe its hard to connect with anyone in the chatroom for lack of exclusivity. but i guess the reason its called chatroom because its not to be exclusively used for chatting with just someone but with everyone in the room.
i never linger in the chatroom unless there is something engaging. am i wrong to do that? the most abuse words in the chatroom are hi, hello, wb, ym, brb, gtg and bye. and then after such words are written, seldom are deeper, meaningful and profound thoughts are injected into the chat.
due to lack of exclusivity, it seems most everyone on the chatroom are loose cannons with no known trajectory. i am sorry, i dont mean to offend anyone. but i believe its a factual observation. am i wrong to share my observations or i am becoming too annoying na? you be the judge and i hope to hear from you!
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1
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running a red light!
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Apr 16, 2012 6:06 am
251 Views
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running a red light literally could happen everyday if you drive to and from work, or even when you are just running errands.
running a red light does happen even when we does not want to or have no intention in doing so. sometimes it just happen because of an error in our judgment or just for miscalculation like when you saw it still a yellow light and you thought you can go through the streets beating the red light, but lo and behold, you got caught at the tail end, and then you were ticketed for running a red light.
i was in such a situation this morning. i was caught at the tail end. luckily there was no policeman. otherwise it will be costly with the ticket amounting to almost $500.00.
but running a red light is not exclusive to traffic rules. it could also pertains to our relationship with women. sometimes women does give you a signal that it would be okay, then suddenly they would say you have run the red lights.
in some situations men were accused of was because they thought they had the green light, but then it was a red light after all. she was just not into you all of a sudden.
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3
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i expect nothing less!
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Apr 15, 2012 8:01 pm
240 Views
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when you use the words " i expect nothing less" in a conversation, you are saying it not only with an almost an arrogance, but with a definite certainty. it could also mean in one word, "perfect."
but the world is imperfect or we are imperfect!
when she said that i expect nothing less that he would visit me in less than 3 months - she meant it with arrogance that there is no way "jose"that he is not going to fly to manila and consummate that long distance relationship.
she is expecting with certainty that he will be seeing her in the flesh - and expects nothing less.
after all, she said, "he loves me and i love him, and we have professed our love to many. there is no room for second thoughts now. this is it!"
expecting nothing less would mean to her that everything will be perfect, not only as she imagined but in reality as well. he is truly the man she imagined or painted in the canvass of her expectations, dreams and even in the way she shared his great narratives to many of her friends, online and otherwise.
she finds him with no faults!
what if something happened in 3 months and not even a shadow of him could be seen in manila? what happened then to the words, i expect nothing less?
yes its possible that it would not turn out as expected!
hmmm i have not use that words i expect nothing less in my conversation.
would you?
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1
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mightiest of your mind!
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Apr 15, 2012 8:33 am
253 Views
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i never pay attention or worry who blogs to impress or to be famous.
i read blogs without consideration if either the blogger is trying to impress me or trying to achieve such distinction as impressive and thereby gaining accolades culminating in being famous.
i think most of the greatest writers and poets of their times did not seek being famous and yet became one as such. they do have this endearing qualities of not worrying about whether they make sense or not to others. all they know is they are doing something so personal and important to them.
yet there are many things that can be sought for. to be an actress certainly will result to being famous if you have a great acting prowess or eventually have that great following.
but being such a great actress is only validated at the box office and during the oscars or famas. there is no such validation here in this forum if you are a great blogger or if you are blogging to impress or to be famous.
heck compared to other blogs, i have few visitors or commentaries than they are - so therefore my blogs is not even likable than the others. but still i am blogging along regardless one reads my blogs or not.
all i know is there are some great derivatives for me in blogging - very personal one, like mental exercise to say the least.
blog's war is an exaggeration for those who are not openminded to other blogs or who are apt to be too personal in their blogs or commentaries to other blogs.
blogs for the most part are thoughts and ideas. if you don't like one blog, then refute it with the mightiest of your mind but with redeeming self-respect.
don't get suck in with such words as getting even or "got you," vindictive, vengeance and validation, and etc.
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4
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like the "good wrench!"
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Apr 14, 2012 9:07 pm
195 Views
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Quoting ???????:
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due to the less than overwhelming response to my first renewed post of a personal nature (about myself)--i will restrict any future posts to more general, generic or universal poems. of which this is one such.
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i thought you should blog not predicating on overwhelming responses.
you have to make a circle of friends here (and be loyal to them) so they would always visit and make comments on your blog - if your intention is to have or achieve an overwhelming responses.
be acceptable to all and don't make any waves or contradicts any of your loyal friends. be on their good side all the time and its a guarantee like the "good wrench," you will have more than overwhelming responses.
otherwise, just blog regardless if one or two make comments on your blog. eventually there will be some who will read your blogs.
maybe not many as compared to others, but still what matters is you put your thoughts on blogging or you express your thoughts in the manner by which you alone have the discretion whether its being read or not, and acceptable to others or not.
if you temper yourself because you want to be read and have overwhelming responses, then you are denying yourself of the intrinsic nature of your thoughts!
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6
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i thought i would never!
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Apr 14, 2012 10:04 am
202 Views
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have you ever told yourself about things that you thought you would never do, or perhaps do it but only occasionally.
i thought i would never find myself doing OT on a saturday or daily if such is offered.
i thought you should enjoy life minus the desire to earn more. or perhaps you should earn more to enjoy life.
so which one is it? to earn more to enjoy life. maybe? but i was enjoying life before i availed myself of this earning more with the OT. how much money is needed anyway to enjoy life?
i have traveled this year to the philippines and will be traveling back again before september. plus i have traveled plan to texas for this month, next month, in june and in july. i have already booked for my ticket for those travel plans except the travel to the philippines.
what i way i thought to augment my traveling money by doing OT.
having available OT since my return from the philippines last feb 21, i thought is a blessing in disguise. yes i have worked OT since my return to the philippines - about 90 hours of OT already.
but this OT would never last. i think it would be good only until end of july this year and then we would run out of money for OT. or perhaps it will continue since there's a flux of retirees this year from the baby boom generation. plus we freezed hiring and coupled with retirees with no replacement - ot is justified.
ot is a substantial amount to earn, but then the tax consequences is a lot higher.
do you have anything you thought you would never do?
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8
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To link to this blog (absolutelyInLove) use [blog absolutelyInLove] in your messages.
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