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Street Children
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Apr 25, 2012 1:37 am
333 Views
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They don't have food, water, and shelter.
Some of them came from broken families.
Please help them.
..Take Care Guys..
 
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5
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Subo mo t*te ko bilis! hayop!
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Apr 13, 2012 9:14 pm
512 Views
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at dahil may namumuong blog war ngayon
sa lipi ng mga dwende versus lady gago...
sumandali akong nagmukmok sa isang sulok...
nagmuni muni... nagbulatlat ng mga artikulo
at mga nakaraang pangyayari..
at sa tulong ng isang diwatang roanne,
inalam ko kung ano ba ang puno't dulo
ng pagtutungayaw ng mga lipi ng dwende
at ng pinagtutulungang si lady gago...
wala akong maapuhap na galit sa busilak kong puso..
wala akong nais kampihan.. tamad me, la ako tamud..
isa lang naman ang nakikita ko, hindi yan matatapos..
kung batuhan din lang ng salita sa panulat,
walang katapusan yan..
dadami ang madadamay dadami lang ang masusunog na bahay..
lalawak ang alitan at sisikat ang dapat sumikat...
walang katapusan, hahaba lang..
pero kung suntukan yan mano-mano e sigurado ako,
titigil din yan after 10 minutes nang walang humpay na sapakan!
pataasan lang ng ihi yan, tigilan na
kasi pare-parehas tayong opinionated!
 
nagutom tuloy ako bigla! tara kain na lang tayo!
paborito ko talaga ang sugpo at bopis..
namimiss ko na ang mainit at mabangong tinola...
hmmm teriyaki oo matagal tagal na din ako
di nakakakain ulit nun!
kochinta masarap yan kung merong neyug,! 
bihon, tawilis.
tsk! nakakagutom!
at ayoko sa lahat nung antagal dumating ng order!
HAYOP!!!
 
P.S. - sensya na po, di ko lang maiwasan ishare sa inyo to..
this made me laugh today!
hope makabawas ng nega vibes dito sa blogosperyo!
smile!
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8
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Mader Paker
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Apr 9, 2012 1:29 am
498 Views
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Amber, A 16 year old catholic girl goes to confession.
Amber: I called a boy a mother f*cker last night.
Priest: Why did you do that?
Amber: He kissed me.
The priest bent over and kissed her.
Priest: like that?
Amber: yes.
Priest: Is that why you called him a mother f*cker?
Amber: No, then he grabbed my butt.
The priest grabbed her butt.
Priest: like this?
Amber: yes.
Priest: Is that why you called him a mother f*cker?
Amber: no, then he pulled my pants down.
The priest then pulled her pants down.
Priest:like this?
Amber:yes.
Priest : Is that why you called him a mother f*cker?
Amber: No, then he took off my panties,
and put his you know what in my you know where.
The priest took off her panties,
and put his you know what in her you know where.
Priest: Like this?
Amber: yes
Priest: Is that why you called him a mother f*cker?
Amber: no
Priest: then why did you call him a mother f*cker?
Amber: He had herpes!
Priest: That MOTHER F*CKER!
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4
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does your Job Suck??!!
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Apr 7, 2012 4:04 am
663 Views
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If you feel like you're stuck in a dead-end job
with a boss who can pass as
The Devil's twin brother, think again.
There are jobs out there that are far worse than yours.
THE FLUFFER
So what is a Fluffer? [This was taken from wikipedia.]
A fluffer is a hired member of the crew
of a pornographic movie whose role on the set
is to sexually arouse the male participants
prior to the filming of scenes that require erections.
Commonly, fluffers keep adult film stars "cleaned up"
in between takes so that the actors
do not have to move from their positions.
These duties, which do not necessarily
involve touching the actors,
are considered part of the makeup department.
After setting up the desired angle,
the director asks the actors to hold position
and calls for the fluffer to "fluff" the actors for the shot.
In other words, fluffers are part of the porn production
but they aren't the porn stars.
They are the ones who help the male porn stars
prepare for a scene. "Dick on Demand" -
yes that is the better term. Hahaha.
Because seriously, a man can only have his organ up
for a maximum amount of time right?
What's the average for Filipinos - 30mins to an hour?
The job of the fluffer is to maintain
the male porn star's erection.
They must be "skillful" enough to get it up
a couple of minutes after an intense orgasm
because you dont just shoot one porn scene in a day, right?
Para silang human vacuum! Hahaha.
So how much do fluffers make?
Well, rumor has it that they get 5%
of what the male porn star gets.
That's ridiculously small, right?
Thoughts running through my head as I type this :
1 - Like other jobs out there,
do their salaries vary depending
on their competencies as a fluffer?
2 - Who determines their core competencies?
Do they also have a scorecard?
A weekly review?
Annual performance Review?
3 - Do the best fluffers ever get promoted?
What's next to being a fluffer?
Is there such a thing as a Senior Fluffer?
Considering how naturally "matikas" Pinoy men are,
I wonder if they still need fluffers
here in the Philippines. LOL.
Again, I heard this just through the grape-vine.
I am innocent (until proven guilty, hehe).
If there were no other jobs available out there,
would you consider being a fluffer?
I want to know.
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13
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Awesome Grandma
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Apr 4, 2012 11:23 pm
537 Views
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Lawyers should never ask grandma a question
if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grandmotherly,
elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams
I've known you since you were a young boy,
and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife,
you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains
to realize you never will amount to anything
more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned!
Not knowing what else to do,
he pointed across the room and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again! replied, "Why, yes, I do.
I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.
He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can't build a normal relationship with anyone,
and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state.
Not to mention he cheated on his wife
with three different women.
One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench,
and in a very quiet voice, said,
"If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me,
I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."
No matter how hard you try,
no matter what you do,
you will never be as awesome as grandma.
..HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE..
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7
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Great Lover
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Apr 2, 2012 6:17 am
589 Views
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At 78 years of age, Wally married Anne,
a lovely 25 year old.
Since her new husband is so old,
Anne decides that after their wedding
she and Wally should have separate bedrooms,
because she is concerned that her new
but aged husband may overexert himself
if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities
Anne prepares herself for bed
and the expected "knock" on the door.
Sure enough the knock comes,
the door opens and there is Wally,
her 78 year old groom, ready for action.
They unite as one.
All goes well, Wally takes leave of his bride,
and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes,
Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door.
It's Wally.
Again he is ready for more "action."
Somewhat surprised, Anne consents for more coupling.
When the newlyweds are done,
Wally kisses his bride,
bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again,
but, aha you guessed it...
Wally is back again, rapping on the door,
and is as fresh as a 25-year-old,
ready for more action.
And, once again they enjoy each other.
But as Wally gets set to leave again,
his young bride says to him,
"I am thoroughly impressed that at your age
you can perform so well and so often.
I have been with guys less than a third of your age
who were only good once.
You are truly a great lover, Wally."
Wally, somewhat embarrassed,
turns to Anne and says,
"You mean I was here already?"
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6
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Good Luck, Bro..
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Mar 17, 2012 4:50 pm
659 Views
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D*mn, bra's can be quite tricky,
but i can still get one off with one hand,
oh yeah!?
That's why ya carry a knife.. lol
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8
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Ding - Dong on Sunday
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Mar 10, 2012 4:18 pm
775 Views
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Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Katie went straight to her grandparent's house
to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died,
her grandmother replied,
'He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.'
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people
nearly 100 years old having SE*X
would surely be asking for trouble.
'Oh no, my dear,' replied granny.
'Many years ago, realizing our advanced age,
we figured the best time to do it
was when the Church bells would start to ring.
It was just the right rhythm.
Nice and slow and even.
Nothing too strenuous,
simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.'
She paused to wipe away a tear,
and continued,
'He'd still be alive if the flaming ice cream truck hadn't come along.'
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11
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BLoW JoB
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Mar 3, 2012 4:53 pm
853 Views
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Martha recently lost her husband.
She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.
Picking up the urn that he was in,
she poured him out on the patio table.
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes,
she started talking to him....
"Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me?
I bought it with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers
in the ashes then said,
"Herman, remember that car you promised me?
Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"
Again, she paused for a few minutes
and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said,
"Herman, that diamond ring you promised me?
Bought it too, with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes,
She said,
"Herman, remember that blow job I promised you?"
"Here it comes."
 
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10
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