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Not A Love Story "I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade." _the holiday_ Someone asked me these questions "How does one deal with hurt? How do you teach your heart it's a crime to fall in love again? Have I made the right decision of letting him go?" Erratum, These questions actually came from two people. And I know little to answer these. I have my own share of hurt and heartbreaks. Yet it may not be the same amount of pain, But I did in my life experience the taste of bitterness, rejection, denial and betrayal. We can never stop to fall in love again.But we all wish not to taste the bittersweet experience. Yet something inside me is pushing me to this limit. I did feel much of a heartache when he decided to leave me. It had been more than 6 months and we have gone this far. Maybe it was not meant to last. Maybe God wrote me a different love story. And that story is still unfinished.Patience is a virtue dear Nadine. Why not sit and wait until He finishes writing.These are all the many changes in my life. ( and of course I am singing). Just tell me I am barking snappishly, I don't care anyway. Now, what are the answers to all their questions. The best way to deal hurt and heartbreak is to face it, to feel it until it will hurt no more.I would rather feel it rather than running away. Because at the end, you should ought to feel pain anyway. The two parties can become losing ends. In this game, there is no winner and there is no loser. It's just that women are way too emotional compared to men. I do not know if my answers are appropriate to their situations, but for me it worked. Now, I think I have moved on. Life is like a school. We learn our lessons. We want to take a break. And most importantly, in school we have a teacher. In life, mistakes are our teachers. We learn from them. To love is to bleed willingfully and joyfully. To love is to be wounded. These statements I got from Khalil Gibran. I am not a massochist of any sort but feeling the pain is such a wonderful experience for me. Love Love Love. You are such a wonderful feeling. Now I am totally off topic. Have I lost my mind? I am well and should not doubt my sanity. On letting go.I know I have let go that easy, without attempting to put back the pieces. But I didn't regret anything. I didn't care if it was a wrong decision, if it was right, it felt right for me. I hate goodbyes.I always want to be loved and to show love 
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6/11/2009 8:02 am |
  Friends and your kiddos will show you love.    within each one of us, and let it begin with me (and each one of us)..one breath at a time.
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6/11/2009 1:12 pm |
great to see you....nice picture  The most beautiful thing can not b seen & touched it must felt with heart 
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Friends and your kiddos will show you love. Hope all is well with you.Take care and i really appreciate your time being here,tho i can't visit your blog often.I hope i can do that this weekend since i have 3 days off starting today.It really inspire me reading your blogs and i love what is in your mind.You really inspire me in many ways.you are such a gift from God.you are wonderful friend,thanks btw for the testimony. love it!-know where to find me...
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great to see you....nice picture  great to see you back on the track!how have you been? Welcome back and hope you can spread some of your sweet dust... Have a wonderful weekend and God bless you!
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6/23/2009 6:38 pm |
Hello, NADINE!...Nice picture! Just call me ELZ 
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Hello, NADINE!...Nice picture!
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6/24/2009 7:33 pm |
Hi Ate,nice to see you here...how are you? Just call me ELZ
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nice thoughts peach, i am glad to say that i understand your points, and agree that it is all worth the pain or "bleeding" my biggest fear is to fail to live this brief life passionately keep writing Remember the last time that you laughed to tears, cried of broken heart, smiled uncontrollably with lover, ....... quivered, felt alive ...
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nice thoughts peach, i am glad to say that i understand your points, and agree that it is all worth the pain or "bleeding" my biggest fear is to fail to live this brief life passionately keep writing "For the Lord's love the just and will not forsake his faithful ones"...Psalms 37:28
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