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Accountant Jokes Here are several jokes sent by my friends: How accountants do it (sex) Accountants do it by the book. Accountants do it within budget. Accountants do it to the bottom line. Accountants do it with double entries. Accountants do it between spreadsheets. Accountants are Certified to do it in Public. Accountants do it without losing their balance. If an accountant's wife can't get to sleep, what does she do? Leans over to her husband and says "Tell me about work today, honey." A lady goes to see her doctor with some very worrisome symptoms. After examining her, he says, "I'm terribly sorry to tell you this, but you only have six months to live." The lady is very distraught, "Oh doctor, what should I do", she asks. The doctor says, "I advise you to marry a CPA." "Will that make me live longer?", she asks, hopefully. "No, " says the doctor. "But it will seem longer." But, in our defense, accountants aren't really boring people. We just get excited over boring things. Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures. Q. How do you drive an accountant absolutely insane? A. Tie him to a chair, and fold a road map up wrong in front of him. Q. Why did the Accountant cross the road? A. To bore the people on the other side! Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realises he does not have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker. Q: Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? A: They find bookkeeping too exciting. Q. Why do audit firms only have 10 minute coffee breaks? A. If the breaks were longer, they'd have to retrain all the staff. Q. What does an accountant use for birth control? A. His personality. Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and an honest accountant are locked in an officewith a bag full of cash: $1,000,000 in small bills. Q. What happens? A. Nothing, they are all fictional characters. Q. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? A. Depletion. Q. What does an actuary do to liven up a party? A. He invites an accountant. Q. What does CPA stand for? A. Can't Pass Again. Q. How do you know if an accountant is an extrovert or introvert? A. An extrovert looks at your shoes when talking to you, an introvert looks at their shoes when talking to you. Q. How can you tell when an accountant owns a used car lot? A. She keeps turning back the gas gauge Q. How can you tell the difference between an actuary and an accountant? A. The actuary is the one with a personality. Q. How does an accountant deal with constipation? A. He works it out with a pencil. Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten. |
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9/21/2008 7:12 am |
hahaha funny ...thanks for sharing  IamALwaYs Hapi,kNowiNgDAt iAmEasilyPLeaSEd 
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9/21/2008 11:25 am |
hahaha funny ...thanks for sharing Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
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9/21/2008 11:26 am |
Tinidor, you're right, it can be boring at times...thanks for reading my blog..take care Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
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9/21/2008 12:25 pm |
ACCOUNTING IS TOO MUCH WORK, LIKE NO ENDING JOB...BUT THEY LOOKS GOOD  HAVE A NICE DAY...The most beautiful thing can not b seen & touched it must felt with heart 
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9/21/2008 2:14 pm |
ACCOUNTING IS TOO MUCH WORK, LIKE NO ENDING JOB...BUT THEY LOOKS GOOD HAVE A NICE DAY...Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
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