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Hatred
12/25/2011 10:01 am Last Read: |
I will always be thankful to you. No matter what. Even if I am hurting as I am hurting right now, still I will say thank you. I was happy for my 3 years stay within your radar. You have made me a happy girl even for such a short period of time, and even if we were just good friends. Whether it was me alone who made this friendship a special one, it didn't matter to me anymore. All I want right now, is for us to have both peace of mind and if being apart is the only mean to have that, then I am asking fate to grant us peace. Don't think, you are not important to me anymore. You still are. It's still your name my heart keeps on screaming at night and even if I am wide awake. There is no doubt about it. But being together will lead us to nowhere. Being with you or not will cause me a great pain, no matter what I choose. You will hurt me just the same. Staying will never make me happy too. I know that now, I even knew it before I was only afraid to realize that there is no other way around. Take your step so far from me, just like what you were doing for the past weeks, I will try to keep mine too. And this time, I will use your great wall of pride towards me against my longing to be with you again. My heart will cry out after weeks and weeks of being distant from each other, but it will understand this time. I have given it so much joy for the past years, and akala ko wala na akong pride. But, I was so wrong. Maybe it wasn't pride that holding me up, maybe it is reality that my happiness is simply hurting me so bad I do not know how to move along. I ask Him, for me to let you go and my longing must not sweep me off my feet again. And do your part, hate me as you have loathed me for weeks. Despise me for it's your anger will push me away. I dare not feel any remorse or misery, and maybe I am too numb to feel anything. And let's forget each other, treat me as if I am just a trash and things will be the way I want it to be. Yung hindi ko na maalala kung ano ka sa akin... joy |
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12/26/2011 9:30 am |
thank you for always giving your thoughts, and i appreciate all of it it will soon pass, im not angry im just using his anger for i was so cold towards him, so i can move along and forget kahit andito pa siya within my an eye-distance. who will ever decipher how much pain i am carrying within me...but God is good He will never leave me with my heart broken God bless you all, my FFF bloggers joy
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12/25/2011 3:26 pm |
such pain and bitterness, at first we feel we are at standstill...we cannot move and find our steps to veer away...but that's momentary, while we wallow in our woes, cries and thoughts that keep asking why and what happened, where was i wrong?...it takes time alright to heal, but the healing can be there...until you can decide to leave these pains, woes, and bitterness, only then will you find what's next better for you..you feel better indeed because you have learned and accepted that one fact, that love wasn't meant for you... “I hold it true, whatever befall; I  it, when I sorrow most.
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 12/25/2011 11:41 am |
Just call me ELZ, click eb1209
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12/25/2011 11:22 am |
Sis, Wala na magagawa if not meant to be or stay in our life. Hating the person we once love doesn't do any good either. For me i love them more that they are away from me. Just missing them and pain and numbness are left. In a way nag papasalamat pa ako, they made me a better person because they came into my life by God's plan. No regrets. Life will go on... Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year!!! Never mind love stay clear away from me...never wanting to fall in love again!!!
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PEACE BE WITH YOUR LOVING HEART, this holiday season...I pray to God, Amen... 
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