Blogs > hellfire_j8 > Living My World.... > Letting Go

Letting Go  

hellfire_j8

7/31/2010 9:09 pm

Last Read:
10/31/2010 9:09 am

 Finally, you have said it.

Yung matagal ko ng hinihintay na sabihin mo sa mukha ko na mahal mo siya at hindi mo siya bibitawan. Yung marinig ko yung confirmation kung ano siya sa yo.


And last night you did. In our simple drinking session you have broadcast what was it between you and her, your past life and the hardship both of you went through just to be in your relationship right now. And hearing coming from your mouth, I have confirmed to myself that no other girl will ever stand between you and her. No one will ever match what she did for you and what you both went through.

Saying it was all painful for me is understatement. I am not just feeling hurt, I was broken in an instant. I was torn inside out. And even if I know this will going to happen to my aching love for you, masakit pa din pala kapag actual mo narinig at naramdaman.

I was in aftershock and it took me the time till I got home before I shed my silent tears. But I know in my heart, these silent tears will also be the sign of my escape from you, from this love, from this insanity that is killing me each day.

I love you not because of this and that. And even I went through a lot of pain loving you and still until now I don't know why I love you this much. Why despite of everything it's you that I need in this life, it's you that makes my day a colorful one.

I have so much blessings and I am counting each of it and thanking God for all of these. And I know that one thing she is thanking God for is for having you. For your devotion to her and no one will ever break it.

Hindi ko man kayang gawin yung ginawa niya para sa yo it doesn't mean I love you less and that she loves you more. It just happened that my love will never be in any form of trying to hurt anyone coz I do believe that God has created this feeling in wonder, out of good, not in any form of trying to hurt somebody else.

And until now, even now that I am writing this blog masakit na masakit na. But one day, I can get out of this and moved on, out of your life and it's not a plan just because I am hurting. It was all planned even before, I know I am not going to stay forever in this place, I am just considering the right time, at kahit na ngayon na nasasaktan ako I know this is not the time yet, but I want to look forward to that day, dahil alam ko I can finally give myself peace of mind and so are you.

You don't need to brag it anymore in my face each time that you are not going to let her go just to make it plain and obvious to me na there is nothing you can do about my feelings.You don't need to worry anymore na baka nga umaasa ako in the end that you will fool around with me.

But there is something you don't know yet. That if I like you I will do everything to win you over. Even for some sweet interludes.

But I don't like you. I do love you. And this love will set me free from becoming a bad girl, coz no good girl will ever hurt the person she loves so much.

And I love you just as much.

joy
hellfire_j8
62 posts 

8/9/2010 7:42 am
    Quoting justine4u:
    I hope this closure you have will really help you move on.Have a nice day!
it did..and i am so happy now for him and for myself too

tnx

joy

hellfire_j8
62 posts 

8/1/2010 9:53 am
    Quoting eb1209:
    Hi there! I remember your face, but I'm not sure if it's the same handle that you used...WELCOME BACK anyway!
its the only handle that i use, it took me awhile to come back and to write again

i guess i finally found some piece to write about, a closure maybe

joy

hellfire_j8
62 posts 

8/1/2010 9:51 am
    Quoting frozenflower3:
    Sis,

    your heart is so full of loving kindness!!! Love is so unfair. But, you truly listen to your heart and that's all that matters. Just think in the future God has someone more deserving of your love that he will only choose you and no other. That is the blessings yet to come for you...

    Have a wonderful Sunday and love and happiness always!!!
yeah thanks i know i am so crazy and so pathetic loving this person but i a learning each day to live this life and to endure the pain i know afterward that i can see the silver lining out of it

joy

eb1209
23968 posts

8/1/2010 6:27 am

 Hi there! I remember your face, but I'm not sure if it's the same handle that you used...WELCOME BACK anyway!
Just call me ELZ, click eb1209

san_pedro
Ask me for a photo
193 posts 

8/1/2010 2:44 am

 i will borrow a friend's fave line:

ayy sauce!!!

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