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| Blogs > bebong2005 > MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO |
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N I have a mercurial temper I know it. I can flare up over mundane things like if someone use my personal pen and shrug my shoulder about crucial incident like losing 2,000 euro in a public restroom between Manila and Bicol. But I never seriously harm someone in my life. Except on one occasion, and it was self-defence. When N. came to Belgium, I was the first Filipina she met, and it was (not) a coincidence. Her fiancé was not only a friend of my ex, he’s the brother also of my ex long time girlfriend during his teenage and early adult period. Plus we’re living almost in the same area. N. is older than me, a civil engineer and a vice ‒mayor somewhere in Negros and a direct Chinese descendant, her family name and looks says it all. But it doesn’t give her an excuse to look down on her fellow Filipinas whom according to her are all wh*res. After all, most of them like me, was married in our country before they even set foot in Europe, unlike a decent girl like her who came here to live with a factory worker whom she had never meet before in a desolate caravan in the middle of nowhere. She said he is just a stepping stone. I asked her: to where? N. civil engineer as she is picks strawberries for years to earn some money to help her husband financially. You see, here in Belgium it doesn’t matter who you are where you came from, they are not honouring any diploma because of the language. You go to school first to learn it, then after five years you can apply for nationality, if you pass the interview you will be granted a citizenship, but not before. And I think it frustrates her that her dreams and goal whatever they are for coming to Europe didn’t come true and it looks as if it will never happened, so I guess she’s dumping it on us. We had several arguments already about these things. She said she will not socialize with common wh*res. I said to her then go find your sort, coz at least this common wh*res made a giant leap when it comes to improving their lives, unlike her who has to take several steps back on the social ladder. And if I’m in her shoes, I would stay in the Phil. Then I stop speaking to her and ignored her for a year. If I saw her I did as if there is no one there, even we’re in the same party or sitting next to each other. And she cannot stand it. You see, she wants that because of her education and upbringing, every Filipina has to acknowledge her superiority and therefore must bow. But not this one. For me, everybody is innocent until proven guilty. Meaning I don’t care who and what you are, if you’re good to me, in my eyes you are a decent person and must treat accordingly. I do not prejudice. She said sorry afterwards and kneels on my front. I just looked at her. She must have regretted the gesture because she changed so much beyond recognition the next few times we encountered each other again. She became so hostile and war freak, as usual I tried to ignore her; till that one occasion before the fatal episode. We were in the house of a common friend and it goes like this. When I came, she just stepping out of her car, (by that time I heard already strange stories about her putting a knife against the throat of somebody just because her balikbayan box arrived later than expected) So, I did what I always do ignore her. Inside I was reading a local newspaper when she said: “Cherrilyn, what have you been saying to Melba?” I look up where she’s standing like a female Zeus and said: “Which one? I said a lot to her.” And continue reading. She grabbed the newspaper away and threw it on the floor, so I said calmly to her: “And you called yourself educated?” she went berserk, words tumbling out from her mouth. Conversation went like this. “You’re nothing but a low-class ” “Oh, you’re jealous? Try it sometimes maybe you will not be this uptight. Who knows you may even like it,” I said winking at her. “I don’t have so many boyfriends like you. I have only one man.” “It’s not my fault that there is only one person who is interested in you.” “I know that you had pregnancy test in the Phil.” “For someone who cannot even afford a ticket to go back there, you surprisingly know a lot what I’ve been doing. I don’t know I’m that important to you.” “I will call your husband! I will see to it that he will divorce you! Etc. etc.” “Do you know his phone number? Wait, I will give it to you. And if you can make him divorce me, I will forever be grateful to you I will lie at your feet and kiss your toes. Deal?” Then she starts pointing at me that I get so irritated I throw her out (even I was not in my own house) I said to her: if you really are as educated as you said you are, I advise you to use it sometimes. Scene closed till the following day. When I came in the canteen, she was already there. Her opening sentence is: “Go, away! Can’t you see I’m eating?” “Since when did you buy this place?” I said sitting down. She stood up grabbed a fork and pressed against the side of my neck. I asked: “Are you going To stand there whole afternoon? Get it over with.” And I tilted my head to the opposite side to expose my neck even more to give her easy access. What she did was swept the food off the table, grabs a glass and threw the thing at me. And I thought: “You f*ck…” I picked up a mug and slapped her as hard as I could. I saw that the side of her face was already bleeding. So, I said: “N. look, it’s enough. Look at you. Just stop this nonsense.” But she was a woman possessed. She slapped me! I was quick but not quick enough. The tip of one of her fingers grazed my cheek and the nail must have scratched the side of my face for when I put my hand on the area, it came away with blood. And she keeps coming, and coming towards me. Note that this woman is a lot taller than me; I have a long hair which was unbound, I cannot let her get near me. So I said once more: “N. back off. Back off or I will seriously harm you.” The f*ck didn’t listen. She tried to kick me instead. One thing I could say is: N. fights like a woman. She tried to scratch and go for my hair. I kept backing off till I can’t go further no more. I lean against the wall where a big seascape painting was hanging above my head, and the mad woman didn’t want to stop. I remember holding both of her hands and pinning them on her sides, but she kicked me on the side of my leg with her pointed boots; so, I gave her a tick. Just a tick. But I saw her eyebrow splits and blood oozed down the side of her face, and still she keeps coming. What can I do? I gave her another playful punch which for me barely touches her lips, but I saw 3 teeth flying in the air in slow-motioned like in a film. And I was looking at it for seems to me an eternity. I was in shocked. Someone came up, and what happened after was blurred. I know I went home, lay in bed for days shivering. I can’t believe I harm a human being. My ex told me that her husband called and threatening to sue but I wonder what happened because the threat never materialize, never paid for any damage either. Two days after, my ex and I went shopping and we saw N. at the wine section but she didn’t saw us. My ex said: “God Cherrilyn, What did you do to that woman?” I might say she looks quite pathetic with stitches and bandages all over her face. I felt worse than ever. And I didn’t get only a trauma from the incident; I was scared for years (even now) also to encounter her again. Because I know she will pull the same stunt once more, that’s her character. And I am very sure that if it happened, I will not only beat her up; I will surely k*ll her.  ~ Jolielaide  |
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9/1/2008 6:47 am |
...yepp it was self-defence... Some women just can´t get enough...Gud girls R bad girls who don't get caught... 
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9/1/2008 8:57 am |
WOW WHAT A FIGHT!...  ...YEAP WE NEED TO PROTECT OURSELF WE CANNOT LET THEM STEP OUR FOOT...EVEN SHE'S A PRESIDENT AT FFF LOL...The most beautiful thing can not b seen & touched it must felt with heart 
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9/1/2008 10:04 am |
hmmmm... i wonder...why is it that we have countrymen like that? well obviously...she's gone wacko...coz of her f*ckin status here some people just can't believe and accept that ... riches to rags story  and...especially when green monster strikes...  no one can ever stopped it from...going are u allowed to carry a...  ?  remember  ...it's either you die or...you killed her  make a choice  btw...can't you report her to the authorities? oh well... you can just avoid her... the best you can geeezzzwhat a pain in the a$$X[(COLOR]  
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9/1/2008 11:38 am |
 Mercurial temper, love this. wow I'd love to use this some time. Ditto  Explains quite a bit about the long comments Ate Bebz from you know....  The first few people I really considered kicking in the groin was the men stalkers I had in uni. Damn scary hence needed weapons.    within each one of us, and let it begin with me (and each one of us)..one breath at a time.
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thanks to microsoft office word 2003  ~ Jolielaide
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...yepp it was self-defence... Some women just can´t get enough...if she see anybody anywhere the first thing she said to the person is: "you're a wh*re" everybody is scared of her ~ Jolielaide
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hmmmm... i wonder...why is it that we have countrymen like that? well obviously...she's gone wacko...coz of her f*ckin status here some people just can't believe and accept that ... riches to rags story and...especially when green monster strikes... no one can ever stopped it from...going are u allowed to carry a... ? remember ...it's either you die or...you killed her make a choice btw...can't you report her to the authorities? oh well... you can just avoid her... the best you can geeezzzwhat a pain in the a$$X[(COLOR] the first thing a husband of someone says was: "is she the one? i thought she would be bigger." i was so ashamed. ~ Jolielaide
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WOW WHAT A FIGHT!... ...YEAP WE NEED TO PROTECT OURSELF WE CANNOT LET THEM STEP OUR FOOT...EVEN SHE'S A PRESIDENT AT FFF LOL...what is one is doing picking strawberries in europe and being married to a factory worker? and if one choose to do so and not happy with the outcome, be a b*tch but don't dump it on other people. so simple is that. ~ Jolielaide
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is it a full moon? i see that a once were now a wolf is prowling ~ Jolielaide
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trish, i think i messed up the words somewhere. N. never work in a factory, her husband did. she used to pick strawberries at my bestfriend's greenhouses for years (the last time i heard about her, she still doing it but in another place) the canteen i was talking about is in the building where i worked before (international school for immigrants) as a receptionist and level 1 coordinator (you see, in the beginning, immigrants understand only one language = english. and not so many people can talk english here so they hired me. i studied also in this atheneum before i get a degree in nursing. ~ Jolielaide
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oh, i forget to mention that N. was attending classes there to learn the language. she dropped out afterwards. i got fired there and then. but after 3 weeks, my boss was begging me to come back (that's when he heard the truth via via what really happened) but then i'm not interested anymore. he should have asked me, or heard both sides first before judging, instead of firing me just like that without explanation. i cannot work with a biased person. ~ Jolielaide
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she also spread rumours in school where my kids and hers were attending. my son said to me that some of the students were talking behind his back about his mother being violent and out of control. ~ Jolielaide
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since then, other filipinas tried to put me in conflict with people they cannot stand or want to have revenge with but don't dare to fight on their own. ~ Jolielaide
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others avoided me like a pest or over-cautious when i'm talking to them. husbands playfully punch me on the shoulder as a way of greetings, and teenage sons of my friends dance and jabs the air playfully whenever they see me. i feel like a freak. ~ Jolielaide
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i see myself as a very peaceful person (ha ha) i avoid and h*te confrontation. i rather walk out than having a discussion or explaining myself. if people think i am, then that's their problem. i know who and what i am better than anyone else. i would not waste time explaining or justifying myself to anyone. i don't owe anybody any explanation. ~ Jolielaide
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my internet provider is down i'm using the net via GB Hsupa modem UMTS better known as mobile internet via GSM network courtesy of D.  ~ Jolielaide
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9/1/2008 4:58 pm |
Now, that's a real VIRGO!  Just call me ELZ 
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i still have nightmares about it  i keep seeing in my dreams that we will meet each other again she will push me too far that i will end up in jail  ~ Jolielaide
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Mercurial temper, love this. wow I'd love to use this some time. Ditto Explains quite a bit about the long comments Ate Bebz from you know.... The first few people I really considered kicking in the groin was the men stalkers I had in uni. Damn scary hence needed weapons. i will blog about it another time i always carry a hiking knife (the one you could clip on pockets etc.) when walking in the night or running. you never know... ~ Jolielaide
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Now, that's a real VIRGO! we don't like troubles elz but if we're push... ~ Jolielaide
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i think she's just lost and don't know what to do with it her identity is gone and she's back to zero while other girls who haven't her background and education like salve and melba are doing far far better ~ Jolielaide
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why she's angry with me? i think because of my character i treated her as equal and she can't stand it because i told her that i came from a poor family and if my aunt josie is not in belgium... ~ Jolielaide
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i know what you're thinking dear and as much as i want to grant your imagination with a juicy answer it's just a complicated name for some boring device you use so you can mobile interneting via cellphone ~ Jolielaide
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reminds me of what rey said to me. he asked: what is the generic name for biogesic = paracetamol what is the generic name for condom = para sa tam*d ~ Jolielaide
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like H. ~ Jolielaide
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