Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > bebong2005 > MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO |
|
i'll keep the door... Dear Love, It’s raining. Not the gentle calm rains in the middle of a season that make you re-evaluate the beauty of nature even in the worse of storms, but a more cruel rain. The wind howls and through the small crack in the wall sinks into this dank room and chills me. I’m reminded of a wolf–slick, quick, and I have fallen under attack. I’m a prey to this weather; it can play such cruel tricks to my mood. A melancholy feeling has entered my soul, gnawing away at the warmth of my heart. The rain seems to represent an end–washing away the past with the fury of an ex-girlfriend ripping to shred old love letters and throwing away possessions she thought you would never want to see again. I wonder if I will ever see you again. Sometimes I wonder whatever would possess me to write such a letter, to you, long gone and moved on. Two souls, two hearts, who had desperately hoped to become one. Yet somehow the mould did not quite seem to fit. I wonder why. I look up at the stars occasionally and I’ll ask them. I have yet to figure out their twinkling code, though. The answer evades me for now. Perhaps on your journey to discover the world with a different set of eyes, you have come across some answers. Yet…do I write in hopes to hear them? Would I want to hear them? I fear they may only depress me. But of course the unknowing leads me to depression anyway. It’s funny how our moods reflect the weather (or, is it the other way around?). I know you told me it would be for the best if we gave each other space. I guess I just did not realize how hard it was going to be. How easily my heart seemed to attach to yours like they had become sewn together by the hands of an angel. Did you not think it would be painful? Are you ever pained by images of me as you close your eyes to sleep and in the moment just before you doze off, you think of me, and you have to catch your breath because for a moment your heart stopped beating? Does that happen to you or is it just me? You told me you did not believe in soul mates. I told you I did. Was that my first mistake to driving you away? I’m sorry because it was never my purpose to. Just because I wanted to be with you did not mean I automatically assumed we were made to each other–of course, there was always that underlying thought that…maybe. It could never be that simple, though. You had your own life you wanted to live and I had mine. They clashed in places where compromises could not be made…right? We made the right choice. Or…at least that is what I keep telling myself. Maybe someday our paths will cross again and we’ll know. We’ll be the first people to discover every meaning and truth to love. Or at least…we can pretend. Scientists in a world where logic makes no sense, and yet everything will make perfect sense to us. If there is ever an “us” again…you may not wish for that to ever happen. What’s in the past stays in the past… And the rain is now washing it all away. I guess that’s why I am writing this letter. I want to hang on to the only hope I have–that you’ll someday come back. It’s what gets me up in the morning and what helps me sleep at night. Maybe while discovering the world, you’ll discover there are such things as soul mates and you’ll want to come back to me. I know. I shouldn’t be thinking such things. You’ll shake your head and give me that look–that condescending “you’re such a naïve girl” look. I loathe that look, but I love you. I guess I was wondering… do you really love me? Take Care–wherever you may be. Stay safe. And the door, it will not be open. So, you better think twice in case you ever want to come in.  ~ Jolielaide  |
|||
|
i suddenly think of a very wonderful movie: "The God must be crazy"  ~ Jolielaide
| ||
|
are we related when we feel crazy then?  
| ||
|
i read this love letter and didn't want to comment on it1  though it is written in a lovely way! 
| ||
|
dunno why i felt ur writing on behalf of the others when i read this blog! 
| ||
|
unless it is the black side of ur mind talking now?!
| ||
|
dunno why i felt ur writing on behalf of the others when i read this blog! i wrote few for her in the past you can see it in my old blogs ~ Jolielaide
| ||
|
are we related when we feel crazy then? someone mostly auto-biographical ~ Jolielaide
| ||
|
are we related when we feel crazy then? ~ Jolielaide
| ||
|
i read this love letter and didn't want to comment on it1 though it is written in a lovely way!  then you will not like me in real life my other me ~ Jolielaide
| ||
|
unless it is the black side of ur mind talking now?! i'm all white  ~ Jolielaide
| ||
4/25/2008 6:06 pm |
naaahh...every man will do come in... any open door esp when there's a sign... WELCOME BACK  men...men...men...  they will always maximize... every moment  they will never waste a chance  they will always dare  they will always "crabs"... their boxers down  (lagot na naman ako sa men )   
| ||
4/25/2008 6:08 pm |
we're related point. 
| ||
|
good morning from your side of the world sweetface. nice to see your face so early here in my blog always makes me... hot! ~ Jolielaide
| ||
|
naaahh...every man will do come in... any open door esp when there's a sign... WELCOME BACK men...men...men.../:> they will always maximize... every moment they will never waste a chance they will always dare they will always "crabs"... their boxers down (lagot na naman ako sa men ) ~ Jolielaide
| ||
4/25/2008 6:10 pm |
black side? what black side? i'm all white that ur shaved!
| ||
|
sulei felt ur his lost sister ~ Jolielaide
| ||
|
tell him... that ur shaved! trimmed! ~ Jolielaide
| ||
4/25/2008 6:35 pm |
tell him... that ur shaved! ~ I will always be a Maverick
| ||
|
how you think? ~ Jolielaide
| ||
|
 people vampire has to go into her coffin in the dungeon-- alone! ~ Jolielaide
| ||
|
4:26 signing off ~ Jolielaide
| ||
|
i made arrangement with D. no computer in the weekends  ~ Jolielaide
| ||
4/25/2008 9:02 pm |
it's for Marian i wrote few for her in the past you can see it in my old blogs  Gud girls R bad girls who don't get caught... 
| ||
4/25/2008 9:06 pm |
This is somehow how I feel right now... Gud girls R bad girls who don't get caught...
| ||
4/25/2008 11:27 pm |
good morning from your side of the world sweetface. nice to see your face so early here in my blog always makes me... hot! good moaning and evening too there darling(sneaking like an addict ) i just have to wake up early anddo the rush buying for the trip hot so where's D.???
|
×
×