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| Blogs > bebong2005 > MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO |
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i see a giraffe one. i want to pick up the fallen leaves from the branches of my heart; dust off my cloudy dreams and find hope again, hidden under closed eyelids and almost-collapsing lungs. i want to smile. two. sometimes i think that happiness is hiding from me. [it's afraid that i'll taint it.] three. when i look at my icon, i see a giraffe. four. i have problems believing in people - their hearts are too darkened by apathy and pain; like storm clouds waiting to drown the world and strike us all down with lightning, one by one, and i have problems believing in me. [sometimes i wonder if the two are connected.] five. sometimes i am hopeful. sometimes the clouds are a land of untold fairy tales, and i close my eyes just to hear my heart breathe. some days, i can look in the mirror and see the best of me; i can stand the silence and it's not lonely because living is enough, six. but sometimes i'm just hopeless. seven. i am silence. i am quiet words and unspoken thoughts. my heart's voice is hidden by the veil i put around it, but i'm ready for a change.  ~ Jolielaide  |
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3/30/2009 6:57 am |
    within each one of us, and let it begin with me (and each one of us)..one breath at a time.
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3/31/2009 5:22 am |
one. i want to pick up the fallen leaves from the branches of my heart; dust off my cloudy dreams and find hope again, hidden under closed eyelids and almost-collapsing lungs. i want to smile. HOPE  two. sometimes i think that happiness is hiding from me. [it's afraid that i'll taint it.] OPEN UR EYES, WEAR SHADES  three. when i look at my icon, i see a giraffe. THAT'S A CAMEL (TOE)  four. i have problems believing in people - their hearts are too darkened by apathy and pain; like storm clouds waiting to drown the world and strike us all down with lightning, one by one, and i have problems believing in me. [sometimes i wonder if the two are connected.] THEY ARE RELATIVES  five. sometimes i am hopeful. sometimes the clouds are a land of untold fairy tales, and i close my eyes just to hear my heart breathe. some days, i can look in the mirror and see the best of me; i can stand the silence and it's not lonely because living is enough, THAT'S NICE...COUNT UR BLESSINGS  six. but sometimes i'm just hopeless. JUST NATURAL seven. i am silence. i am quiet words and unspoken thoughts. my heart's voice is hidden by the veil i put around it, but i'm ready for a change. GOODLUCK!  how are u nowadays bebs? hamishu!   
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i want to be thrown against the wall ~ Jolielaide
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or any flat surfaces (kitchen table) ~ Jolielaide
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stop running then ~ Jolielaide
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one. i want to pick up the fallen leaves from the branches of my heart; dust off my cloudy dreams and find hope again, hidden under closed eyelids and almost-collapsing lungs. i want to smile. HOPE two. sometimes i think that happiness is hiding from me. [it's afraid that i'll taint it.] OPEN UR EYES, WEAR SHADES three. when i look at my icon, i see a giraffe. THAT'S A CAMEL (TOE) four. i have problems believing in people - their hearts are too darkened by apathy and pain; like storm clouds waiting to drown the world and strike us all down with lightning, one by one, and i have problems believing in me. [sometimes i wonder if the two are connected.] THEY ARE RELATIVES five. sometimes i am hopeful. sometimes the clouds are a land of untold fairy tales, and i close my eyes just to hear my heart breathe. some days, i can look in the mirror and see the best of me; i can stand the silence and it's not lonely because living is enough, THAT'S NICE...COUNT UR BLESSINGS six. but sometimes i'm just hopeless. JUST NATURAL seven. i am silence. i am quiet words and unspoken thoughts. my heart's voice is hidden by the veil i put around it, but i'm ready for a change. GOODLUCK! how are u nowadays bebs? hamishu! Do you know what hope is? It's magic and it's free. It's not in a prescription. It's not in an IV. It punctuates our laughter. It sparkles in our tears. It simmers under sorrows. It dissipates our fears. Do you know what hope is? It's reaching past today. It's dreaming of tomorrow. It's trying a new way. It's pushing past impossible. It's pounding on the door. It's questioning the answer. It's always seeking more. It's rumours of a break. It's whispers of a cure. A roller coaster ride. Of remedies, unsure. Do you know what hope is? It's candy for the soul. It's perfume for the spirit. To share it makes you whole. Take my hand...come... Let's share this hope...together... ~ Jolielaide
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OPEN YOUR EYES Before I opened my eyes... Thought I was alone in this black hole Thought I was the only pure lost soul... Then something became very clear The whole world had fallen in here I think the world has gone insane Only one more shadow full of pain Stabbing each other with our knives So eager to take each other's lives Killed because they're a different color Or because they had a same sex lover Murdering to make others feel small Taking life to watch the blood fall And here we are all fighting this war To dumb to see what's at our door ~ Jolielaide
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that's a CAMEL Once I lay down on a camel track. It was growing dark and there seemed no other place smooth and clear where the swag could lie but here ~ Jolielaide
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they are RELATIVES Relatives are pests, our hearts with bruises burdening Putting good people through tests, peace polluters Sulking for tiny things with cries chattering Bursting shiny bliss bubbles, devilish destroyers. Hatred for these monsters in my heart now nurturing Lying before our sacred book, evil emotion Banish good health of my parents, deeply disturbing To punish them, I further develop devotion. ~ Jolielaide
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that's nice COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS She thought she'd cry today: HE had sent no silk sacs filled with flowers. But then she saw your tender feet go by. You had no shoes. You had no food, and hands that should have loved had shaken hope awakened in your heart down poisoned creeks running past unglassed windows of your family's shack. She wondered why today: She had milk and flour, and no one at the mansion knew your name. ~ Jolielaide
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JUST NATURAL You know I've been a good man since I was seventeen Leaving home was always one of my fondest dreams One thing I would change, the grades I got in school Cause when it comes right down to living, I am a natural born fool When I was brought into this world, it wasn't very long I've thought about it everyday, I must have done my parents wrong No mother and no father, just adopted man and wife I'm the son of a dream I chase, I will for all of my life Seems like every time I try, the more I seem to fail If there's a God, why do I always feel like I'm in hell? Every path I chose I found I was someone else's tool Cause when it comes right down to living I am a Natural born fool But if you need a friend to lean on, I'm the one to call They must think I live inside a magic crystal ball I'd never try to hurt you, I'm really not that cruel but when it comes right down to living I am a Natural born fool. ~ Jolielaide
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GOODLUCK Good luck never came to Joe, Every day was the same. Bad luck was his destiny, Or at least this was his claim. Life is unfair he said. When do I get MY lucky break? He envied the lives of others, You know, the luck they make. Opportunity knocked a thousand times, But he never went to the door. Others just had more luck than him, And he was keeping score. He waited for his ship to come in, Cherishing this fantasy the most. But he pretended it didn't matter, That he was nowhere near the coast. The luck that some people had! Like those who had the money. With their habits that Joe derided, When he thought he was being funny. And the men who were lucky with women, Surely this was unfair. All they did was ask them out, Something simple that Joe wouldn't dare. He excused his lack of effort. For others it was easy, he lied. He pointed only to their success, Ignoring the dozen times they tried. He wanted to fight reality, And this was why he was stuck. So while Joe justified his ways, Others had all the good luck. ~ Jolielaide
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how am i sweetface? there's a lot of things people think they can't do and then discoverthey can when they find themselves tight-wired ~ Jolielaide
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3/31/2009 4:09 pm |
i need more than hugs these days jane i want to be thrown against the wall Violently hard or ever so gently?  ....tightly gripping your body against the wall whilst uhmmm some volunteer whispers into your ears gibbering that s/he wants to get dirrrrttyy and unruly into your ears. Get fired up quickly. After this you can feed your habit and clean up the mess you both make afterwards, deal? within each one of us, and let it begin with me (and each one of us)..one breath at a time.
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ah, that's why i want to do it in someone else's bedroom/place he could straighten up the mess when i'm gone ~ Jolielaide
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and forget the whispering i have only 5 minutes max i have other/better things to do after all, one doesn't stay too long in the loo or eating and those are necessities also ~ Jolielaide
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and i will do the dirty talking that way i could carefully select the wordings ~ Jolielaide
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4/1/2009 7:47 am |
ah, that's why i want to do it in someone else's bedroom/place he could straighten up the mess when i'm gone He's a rare kind as far as the ones I know of, except for 2 guys. 5 minutes to climax? The technique must work fast. Chew quickly without choking, P*o without clogging, Don't leave p*e infecting, Do it quick without breaking; Get the rhythm going, You control the talking; No whispering, Leave you desiring, .....More; More satisfying He does the cleaning within each one of us, and let it begin with me (and each one of us)..one breath at a time.
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lol a guy who cleans up after his mess? He's a rare kind as far as the ones I know of, except for 2 guys. 5 minutes to climax? The technique must work fast. Chew quickly without choking, P*o without clogging, Don't leave p*e infecting, Do it quick without breaking; Get the rhythm going, You control the talking; No whispering, Leave you desiring, .....More; More satisfying He does the cleaning i guess he got no choice since it's his placeunless he wants to live in a pig hole me, i'm out of there once i get what i came for ~ Jolielaide
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i particularly like the red part it almost summed up my general idea how it supposed to be ~ Jolielaide
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among so many other things ~ Jolielaide
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oh the pic changed ~ Jolielaide
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4/5/2009 8:55 am |
how am i sweetface? there's a lot of things people think they can't do and then discoverthey can when they find themselves tight-wired talent! 
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4/5/2009 8:57 am |
i need more than hugs these days jane i want to be thrown against the wall 
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that's what u called... talent! ~ Jolielaide
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