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I CAN'T BE MY EX's FRIEND Hopeless. Nonsense. Waste of time. Too much of negative descriptions. Funny but while reading a blog about making an ex as friend, I kept on laughing. If not because of what I experienced few hours ago my answer might be a big "YES". Now, i would like to agree with Manny a.k.a pinoylover that not all could be friends after the break-up.I dont want to dig deeper into any rationalization of this belief-- unless a person will learn to accept other's uniqueness and differences, understanding will never be achieved. I do not know now how to continue this blog and how will i put together the pieces of this event. Time had moved swiftly that all i can recall is I left Phil. with a rosy environment believing that I have the love and dedication of my boyfriend or fiance (i dont know which is which). It was like, wow!!! after almost 6 years of on and off relation at least things had already defined clearly (that was my belief).Later last year, i was seeing the same pattern of events that warned me that another cooling off was about to come. I was right!!! My boyfriend (ex-boyfriend), decided to go back to his former work with United Nation which brought him to his assignment in Dominican Republic.He got his access to enter US without any problems but I dont know again what happened that he ended pissed off because I can not accommodate his demands and gave an eternal silence for a certain period. Based on previous experiences with him, this means BYE (hayyy!!!!). So I am free now ( but this happened for nth time already)....  Fastforward------> May 24, 2009, 9:00 pm.I received a call, he is in Tucson, AZ. He will be around for a couple of days with some "friends". Since I was scheduled to come to the city on the Memorial Day to pick up some books, I agreed to meet him for a lunch. I never felt any excitement, I was just curious to see how he was doing after few months. The meeting happened. He is still handsome which projects the aura of a metro male. The persona which is extremely different than mine. In his casual clothes he looks so clean and neat. The typical him. In contrast, I looked like a typical county worker in my denim shorts, cotton shirt,slip ons while driving an '89 f250 truck.I already knew his reaction which I dont care to mind anymore. He uttered the same line, reminding me when was the last time I had seen myself on the mirror (rude!!). It did not make any sense at all, coz I came to return his engagement ring which he had given 2 years ago. I can not keep it. I can never be the display woman he wanted me to be. I can not spend 2 hours in front of the mirror painting my face. My hours are just too preciuos to be wasted.I have my vanities but I call them as proper way of taking care of myself specially my skin and hair. Sadly, it does not include all the superficial and artificial ingredients. Instead,I do it according to what I learn is right---proper diet, rest, exercise and lots of smile.I wear clothes based on what I call comfort and style not fashion.I have to excuse myself with all the tiring demands. I can not live with this kind of life forever.  Well, thats it...I was smiling while driving back home. It is impossible to believe that with all the differences we got I was able to stand him within 6 years. I also congratulate myself for maintaining a good record of honesty and loyalty within that period. I paid high respect to the relationship and it helped me a lot. It does'nt matter if he did otherwise.  Hopeless. Nonsense. Waste of Time. Maybe....and I can never be his friend anymore. He is part of history that I will share with my in the future.  
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I thought having a husband could change my way of life although he knew my sexual preference at the beginning but I ended up leaving him and then I filed for divorce despite the fact that we have a son together. Now my boy is nine-years old so hopeful that his dad and I might be in love once again. But I told him it is discernibly impossible because I don't love his father anymore. I really loathe my ex yet I opted to be civil with him for the sake of our child. After me, he had another wife who later left him too and a girlfriend. After him, I got 10 wonderful women especially Vivian of Pasay and Leah of Willowdale. I truly enjoyed the company of awesome girls than the marriage offered by a selfish, controlling and irresponsible ex-hubby. I am associating your experience to the title of the novel written by Maya Angelou, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" ( although the story is different, I considered women trapped in a very choking relationship a caged bird). Caged birds sing because they wanted to be free. You just made a right decision. God Bless.
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5/29/2009 2:24 pm |
I thought having a husband could change my way of life although he knew my sexual preference at the beginning but I ended up leaving him and then I filed for divorce despite the fact that we have a son together. Now my boy is nine-years old so hopeful that his dad and I might be in love once again. But I told him it is discernibly impossible because I don't love his father anymore. I really loathe my ex yet I opted to be civil with him for the sake of our child. After me, he had another wife who later left him too and a girlfriend. After him, I got 10 wonderful women especially Vivian of Pasay and Leah of Willowdale. I truly enjoyed the company of awesome girls than the marriage offered by a selfish, controlling and irresponsible ex-hubby.
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I think it depends on what happened with your past relationship. one of my ex-bfs has been a good friend of mine... but there's this man from my past who can't be my friend anymore... something so bad happened that i can't forget when he was still my bf. Our experiences will either be good or bad. In the end, we will just keep the good and forget the bad. Then life continues. Thank you for dropping by. Good day.
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5/26/2009 10:14 pm |
I think it depends on what happened with your past relationship. one of my ex-bfs has been a good friend of mine... but there's this man from my past who can't be my friend anymore... something so bad happened that i can't forget when he was still my bf. "Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.”
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Funny you mention it. I'm celebrating because my ex moved away, so he can't be backtsabbing anymore. When we were together, we wrongly thought we could be friends when we eventually break up. Our breakup was good initially until later when he found out I was dating again. He became possessive. He said he just can't be a friend, he wanted more. Whereas I only wanted to be accepted as his friend, but he doesn't want it this way. Clearly it didn't work out, we can neither be friends nor lovers anymore. Those are historical events that will make our lives more colorful and funnier. Be glad you are able to have this experience to laugh sometimes.
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I-10 is when you go towards phoenix from tucson. My location is exactly right at the very beginning of the 1-19.I am few steps away from US-Mexico border fence.
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5/26/2009 9:29 am |
Funny you mention it. I'm celebrating because my ex moved away, so he can't be backtsabbing anymore. When we were together, we wrongly thought we could be friends when we eventually break up. Our breakup was good initially until later when he found out I was dating again. He became possessive. He said he just can't be a friend, he wanted more. Whereas I only wanted to be accepted as his friend, but he doesn't want it this way. Clearly it didn't work out, we can neither be friends nor lovers anymore.    within each one of us, and let it begin with me (and each one of us)..one breath at a time.
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young, I wish I could. Unluckily, I have to pay some hours in my work due to the cancelled classes during the peak of swine flu epedemic. I also have an appointment with our city mayor on the 29th, I can not miss that appointment because it concerns the project that my class will get involve with this summer. Have fun and hope to meet you in some other times.
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