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LDR: The Truth and Lies--The Ups and Downs.... LDR--Long Distance Relationship...It works for quite a few, but it is still a BIG QUESTION to many. Why do people go for it? What are the advantages and disadvantages of an LDR? Why start with online dating? Is it our way of protecting ourselves first, by preliminary screening? Is it our way to buy time before we set the date to actually meet in person? I believe most women are more scared than men, right? Unless they are (?)... Why do some people lie in their profiles if they have the intention to meet in the future? Is it a good practice to collect then select? What about disappointments and frustrations? After meeting, what's next? How do you nurture an LDR? How long should you keep it as an LDR before taking another step towards SDR...How much can you do? What actually do you intend to do? Where do we go from here? These are just some of the questions that keep popping on my mind...Maybe the readers have a lot more to share from their experiences...Let's read from them...Or, you can actually ask me..  THANK YOU!  Just call me ELZ  |
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4/17/2007 3:58 am |
Cath, Thank you so much for giving me your insight to this...There were quite a few times where I was very ambivalent to this...Skeptical as well...Worried and all, but I felt "strong" enough emotions to at least try, and it happened a couple of times already...So nervous, but at least I tried to EB with the person...It was all good, but we're hanging on a "cliff"...not worrying about tomorrow, but very uncertain as well...Take care my dear...muwah!../Elsa Just call me ELZ
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4/17/2007 5:51 am |
ohhhhh LDR! hehehehe... i am into it! it's very expensive huh! calls, texts, emails, flights...ewwwwww but it works for me! The agony of LDR is that you don't know what the other one is doing, u don't know what's going on with your partner... both must be open to each other and always accept uncertainty even if you trust each other!to make it work both must be willing to keep the relationship alive and fire burning! A healthy friendship changes and grows ‒ i.e. it is dynamic. How do we know if it is alive or not? It must be growing and changing constantly. A healthy friendship will encourage personal growth as well as allow both parties to explore safely with new ideas and experiences.
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Elsa, for me, it is a safe way of getting to know a man before deciding to meet him in person. I just don't trust men in my age group anymore. It seems that many only want a conquest or one-night/part-time stands. I know because I have received a lot of those in my mailbox...which goes to trash immediately I don't think it will ever work for me. My sixth sense is so keen that I believe my gut feelings and the red flags that pop up  I just cannot accept that a man, thousands of miles away from me, can be faithful and true to ONLY me . There is always that doubt, no matter how much he'd try to assure me that there is no other woman. Yeah, right!!! And, yes! Then there are those who "collect and select". I don't want to be one of his collection Maybe the only way not to get disappointed is to "trust"  someone thousands of miles away, to be faithful??? But I know, for a fact, some women tolerate that as long as they receive their monthly stipend from their LDR!  Not me, no thanks! I think I'll start looking around nearby!
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4/17/2007 5:20 pm |
ohhhhh LDR! hehehehe... i am into it! it's very expensive huh! calls, texts, emails, flights...ewwwwww but it works for me! The agony of LDR is that you don't know what the other one is doing, u don't know what's going on with your partner... both must be open to each other and always accept uncertainty even if you trust each other!to make it work both must be willing to keep the relationship alive and fire burning! Just call me ELZ
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4/17/2007 5:25 pm |
Quoting Cher: "Elsa, for me, it is a safe way of getting to know a man before deciding to meet him in person. I just don't trust men in my age group anymore. It seems that many only want a conquest or one-night/part-time stands. I know because I have received a lot of those in my mailbox...which goes to trash immediately" Well, I don't blame you pretty Cher! I've received tons of "unpleasant" mails too in my fff mailbox...Some of them start out really nice and all...and later on, when I ask for pics, they'll send something really "unacceptable"...I ban them or report for abuse...It takes quite a while for me to trust..And so far, over-all, I've trusted only less than 10 male correspondents here in my almost 2 years of membership...That bad, uhh?... Just call me ELZ
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4/17/2007 5:31 pm |
QUOTING CHER:"I don't think it will ever work for me. My sixth sense is so keen that I believe my gut feelings and the red flags that pop up I just cannot accept that a man, thousands of miles away from me, can be faithful and true to ONLY me . There is always that doubt, no matter how much he'd try to assure me that there is no other woman. Yeah, right!!!" _____________________________________________________________________ Beautiful Cher!...A top caliber woman like you has the right to think that way..You are here on fff a lot longer than me, and I'm sure, your experiences are way a mixture of all emotions and whatchamacallit?..Remember, you were the ones who gave me the first advices here on this website...You and Kaelani..I am still learning a lot from you, and most of the stories that you told me are very true... Just call me ELZ
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4/17/2007 5:38 pm |
QUOTING CHER: "And, yes! Then there are those who "collect and select". I don't want to be one of his collection" **************************************************************** Personally, I don't practice or use that word collect and select...I do a lot of SCREENING though, before I really get deeply or quite seriously involved...I must admit, that I tried meeting someone from a different state, and so far, it was a very nice and decent experience...And we still talk to each other...But that does not guarantee anything...My readiness is dependent on 25% luck, 25% personal effort, 25% co-existing factors, and 25% fate/destiny...equals 100%...The personal effort must be 15% coming from him and 10% from me...I still want my man to take the initiative, and we'll take it from there...I'm still waiting for that kind of man...So, that means, I will still be SCREENING.... Just call me ELZ
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4/17/2007 5:49 pm |
QUOTING CHER: "Maybe the only way not to get disappointed is to "trust" someone thousands of miles away, to be faithful??? But I know, for a fact, some women tolerate that as long as they receive their monthly stipend from their LDR! Not me, no thanks!" ******************************************************************* You know, I know of several men who live here in the USA, who complained to me about some women (not all) from RP who are really extorting money or soliciting money from men here, in exchange for "juicy and hot and sizzling" webcam exposure...I was so embarrassed, and red-faced, but I just took that complaint with so much poise telling him, that none of that would have happened if they did not agree or made a fool of themselves...And it's not only the Filipinas who do that..It's just that they're here in fff...Personally, I'd like to try to trust...And if it becomes suspicious as the days go by, I do trust my gut feelings and huntches...They never fail me...I always keep tons of respect for myself...If the guy is younger than me...I tell him off that I am not a 'SUGAR MOMMY'....hehehehehe...My ex-BF was a doctor and very young, goodlooking, very intelligent, kind and all, and HE SPOILED ME WITH EVERYTHING HE COULD...I am not desperate to fall for someone who is just going to suck the little resources that I have...I believe in GIVE AND TAKE... Just call me ELZ
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4/17/2007 5:56 pm |
QUOTING CHER: "I think I'll start looking around nearby! " ********************************************************************* I think, you and I both have admirers nearby, but we seek "protection" from direct involvement right away...You see, the PC screen allows me to buy my time and get to know the person, more and more while I do my other professional and personal business...I have to have some control of the situation...Having someone nearby during the early period of getting to know each other gives me little room to think things over...The pressure of seeing that person more frequently and the pressure of having to make the decision prematurely, and also having to commit one's self physically earlier than expected is really a BIG thing for me...Maybe, after 3 months, it's okay..But no one from here is that patient...I'm sure you know what I mean...I already have a lot of pressures in my life...I don't want this one to be a part of it... Just call me ELZ
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4/17/2007 5:57 pm |
Now, we'd love to read from MEN!...Let's keep healthy and realistic discussions here...Everyone is invited to post...and share your honest, innermost opinion regarding LDR.... Just call me ELZ
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4/18/2007 5:44 am |
Again, I wonder why MEN visit this blog and don't post?... ...I hope I am not pressing the Alarm button ha?..I just would like to reassure everyone that this blog is a general one and does not in any manner pinpoint to a specific person that I know of...or anyone at all...Thank you! Just call me ELZ
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4/18/2007 9:29 am |
elsa, All your questions are valid from both sides of the gender issue.I feel an LDR has an advantage as you stated it buys time.Time to wonder time to dream and finally time to worry.all the dreams and hopes head south as you get closer to that first meeting and are replaced with doubts,like will she like me in person will I like her.Is she as pretty as her pictures am I strong enough for her.So when you progress to that first meeting its no wonder it cwn be very ackward for both sides.ya know what though it s still exciting as everyone wants to be at their best and validate all those written words with some real spoken ones. Cole
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4/18/2007 10:35 am |
elsa, All your questions are valid from both sides of the gender issue.I feel an LDR has an advantage as you stated it buys time.Time to wonder time to dream and finally time to worry.all the dreams and hopes head south as you get closer to that first meeting and are replaced with doubts,like will she like me in person will I like her.Is she as pretty as her pictures am I strong enough for her.So when you progress to that first meeting its no wonder it cwn be very ackward for both sides.ya know what though it s still exciting as everyone wants to be at their best and validate all those written words with some real spoken ones. Cole Just call me ELZ
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4/18/2007 12:55 pm |
elsa, I thank you for the compliment on my experiences but it has only been for like the last3 years I've done this ldr thing with turning into sdr that didn't go quite as well as planned.I would relate them to ya'll but I dont want to bore you or all your friends.soffice it to say they didn't work but that doesn't mean I'm gonna give up.there are just some areas that I need to re-examine but I will continue my quest Cole
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4/18/2007 4:13 pm |
elsa, I thank you for the compliment on my experiences but it has only been for like the last3 years I've done this ldr thing with turning into sdr that didn't go quite as well as planned.I would relate them to ya'll but I dont want to bore you or all your friends.soffice it to say they didn't work but that doesn't mean I'm gonna give up.there are just some areas that I need to re-examine but I will continue my quest Cole Just call me ELZ
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4/18/2007 4:23 pm |
ONe thing that I noticed amongst women here at fff, is that once they find someone they "relate" with...They stop making friends, their world is isolated...they change their profile, hide their pictures, and stop everything else...Only to be disappointed, fail and go back to zero again...On the contrary, men don't change anything...NOT AT All..or at least, most of them don't.... Just call me ELZ
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4/18/2007 5:31 pm |
I agree with you Elsa c an you explain thae female side for me Cole
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4/18/2007 8:43 pm |
I agree with you Elsa c an you explain thae female side for me Cole Just call me ELZ
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4/18/2007 8:45 pm |
Hey Robert! Dont stress yourself out...You don't have to answer all the questions...And feel free to visit some other time...Thanks for coming and reading at least...But your opinion sure will count...Take care and stay warm! Just call me ELZ
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4/19/2007 5:41 am |
thanks for that answere Elsa.I agree with you that once an LDR is inprogress evey effort should be made to meet asap.To me that is one goal.Also I would think someone would want their buds around for support,oh well thats only me thanks again kiddo Cole
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4/20/2007 3:05 am |
Goodluck to you Cole, and please stay happy no matter what...LIFE, INDEED, IS TOO SHORT....God bless... Just call me ELZ
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4/21/2007 6:48 am |
What a beautiful LDR love story Robert!..I was so touched when I read it and it is really worth the wait...I can feel the sincerity, the fondness and that special connection between you and Awa...And lastly, it also kinda "broke" my heart....Because I can relate to the situation...I can just sigh, Robert...It would have been such a beautiful love story...She's so sweet to call you and greet you on your birthday...But, then again,, You'll never know, Robert...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS...Beautiful... Just call me ELZ
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4/21/2007 6:50 am |
LDR...It is so sweet, it makes me feel very special, but there are so many questions not answered, so many uncertainties... Just call me ELZ
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4/21/2007 6:53 am |
But, it such a nice feeling to long for, to desire, to anticipate, to always look forward to speak to, to read emails and to see the other person...ALWAYS.. Just call me ELZ
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4/21/2007 5:38 pm |
Lan!...OMG!...I'm so glad that you visited my blog again...I was so sad when I clicked on your blog and you said that you are not gonna be here that much anymore, I felt a light thug in my heart, as if I was losing someone I've learned to really like and co-related with...I couldn't believe it and I even got sadder when I clicked your handle and you turned it off....Waaaaaahhhhhh ....But, girl! I thank you so much for this beautiful love story of yours....It makes me wanna daydream again....Haaaaayyyyyyy! (Sigh!)...Muchas gracias!Just call me ELZ
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